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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499387">adjust the sails</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingthorns/pseuds/fallingthorns'>fallingthorns</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nature of the spine [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Established Relationship, Injury Recovery, M/M, Physical Disability, Physical Therapy, Post-Canon, Wedding, Wedding Planning, psychosocial aspects of recovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:40:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>31,697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingthorns/pseuds/fallingthorns</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He thinks about Richie in Bill’s backyard, dressed in a tuxedo and sitting in a chair under a wedding arch. Richie is fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket, grinning as Eddie sits in his wheelchair across from him, resting his hand on Richie’s thigh to get it to stop twitching up and down.<br/>--<br/>Two years post-clown, Eddie adjusts to his new life while trying to plan a wedding. It's a lot at once.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nature of the spine [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>215</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. tomorrow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>What was supposed to be a one off is now... a whole series? </p><p>As an almost physical therapist (I'll be a real one in just under 6 months!), I cannot stop thinking about Eddie with a spinal cord injury post-clown. I have worked with many individuals with spinal cord injuries and other neurologic disorders, and I am constantly amazed by what they deal with and what they have gone through. </p><p>This portion will cover from this chapter through the wedding, so it takes place before "new normal." You don't have to read that one before reading this, but it is there for your reading pleasure :)</p><p>In this fic, Eddie survived (obviously) but sustained a complete spinal cord injury. His legs do not work without braces, and it is usually easier and more energy-conserving for him to move around while in a wheelchair.</p><p>This chapter does deal a little more heavily with some of the psychosocial aspects that come along with having a physical disability. It is a major life change, and I feel it should be treated as such.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie and Richie are just trying to plan a wedding. All they need is a nice place that will fit all their friends and somewhere that's wheelchair accessible. Apparently that's a lot to ask.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> <span class="u">September 2018</span> </em>
</p><p>Eddie groans and slams his laptop shut, banging his head onto it once and letting his head rest there for the time being.</p><p>“Stupid mother fucking dipshit dickwad –” He mumbles under his breath, keeping his eyes shut and his forehead pressed against the laptop.</p><p>“Uh, Eds?” Richie calls from the living room. “Everything good?”</p><p>“Dandy,” Eddie calls back before letting out another audible groan. “We might just have to get married in our backyard, though.”</p><p>Eddie hears Richie get up from the couch with a little groan before listening to his loud footsteps as he walks into the den. After living in the same house as Richie for almost two years, Eddie knows how Richie sounds when he walks. He can’t walk quietly to save his life, and truthfully, Eddie likes that he always knows where he is.</p><p>Eddie doesn’t lift his head up from the desk. He feels Richie’s presence behind him before he feels a hand rubbing gently at his back. Richie crouches down next to him and presses a kiss to his temple, his hand stroking small circles on his upper back.</p><p>“What’s up, Spagheds?” He says quietly in Eddie’s ear.</p><p>Eddie takes a deep breath, turning his head to the side so he can look at Richie out of the corner of his eye. “All of the venues here are shit,” Eddie says. “If it’s not their lack of a decent-looking wheelchair accessible entrance, it’s the fact that you have to go upstairs to get to the main event room with only one elevator, and you know if that breaks it would be a <em>nightmare –</em>”</p><p>Richie listens as Eddie continues to vent about the nightmares of Los Angeles accessibility. He presses another kiss to Eddie’s temple, causing Eddie to pause and take a deep breath.</p><p>“I would marry you anywhere,” Richie mumbles against the side of Eddie’s head. “You know that. I would gladly do a backyard wedding if that’s what you want.”</p><p>Eddie feels guilty, sometimes. He knows that Richie chose this life, chose <em>him</em> and everything that comes with him. But he feels like Richie has given up so much to be with him. They can’t have an elaborate celebrity house because it would be too hard for Eddie to navigate, they can’t go hiking in the mountains, and Eddie doesn’t really have any desire to join Richie at premieres or awards shows in his wheelchair. He knows Richie loves him, of course he does, but he can’t help feeling like he wants Richie to have something <em>he </em>wants for once.</p><p>“Rich,” he says, finally lifting his head up and turning to look him in the eyes. “What do you want?”</p><p>Richie pauses, bringing his other hand to cup Eddie’s cheek. “You,” he says. “Always you. And your mom.”</p><p>Eddie huffs and rolls his eyes.  “Dickhead. You can do better.”</p><p>Richie laughs, leaning in to press a kiss to Eddie’s lips. “I wouldn’t mind having a backyard wedding,” he says once he pulls away. “But… I think our backyard is too small.”</p><p>“I know,” Eddie replies. “There’s barely enough room for our friends when they’re all here.”</p><p>“But. Bill has a big backyard, and a big kitchen and dining room and living room. And all of that is on the first story, and you know you can get into his house from the back.”</p><p>Eddie pauses. Bill’s house <em>is</em> gorgeous. It’s big but modest, not overly showy or noticeable, but just noticeable enough that people might pause to look at it. He imagines the backyard decorated, imagines Richie standing under a wedding arch in a tuxedo and a huge smile on his face as he watches Eddie walk –</p><p>Eddie quickly wipes the scene out of his memory, giving his attention back to Richie. He nods slowly. “Okay,” he says. “Call him up and see what he says.”</p><p>Richie grins and stands up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Yes, boss.” He finds Bill’s contact with one hand while his other unlocks the brakes of both of Eddie’s wheels before starting to pull him out from under the desk. Eddie shoos his hand away with a flick of his wrist, setting both of his hands on his wheels and pushing himself into the room behind Richie.</p><p>“Wow, is that any way to greet your best friend?” Richie says when Bill answers the phone. Richie goes and flops onto the couch, long limbs spread across the couch and over the opposite arm rest. Eddie grins at him and wheels up next to him, motioning for him to put the call on speakerphone.</p><p>“ – just been <em>a day,</em> the dog got out and Mike went into full panic mode –”</p><p>“Eddie’s here too now,” Richie says, interrupting Bill, “Lost your chance to profess your undying love for me, Billiam.”</p><p>Eddie hits Richie’s shoulder as Bill laughs through the phone.</p><p>“Is Poe alright?” Eddie asks. His hand gently rubs at Richie’s shoulder, never having removed it from when he smacked him.</p><p>“Oh, yeah, he’s fine, he was just hiding under the deck,” Bill says. “I swear to god, if I had known that he would take after Edgar Allan Poe’s broody darkness, we never would have named him this.”</p><p>Richie laughs, which makes Eddie feel like he’s a million pounds lighter.</p><p>“You doing okay, Eddie?” Bill asks once Richie’s laughs quiet down. “Therapy going okay?”</p><p>“Yep. Still going twice a week,” Eddie says, biting his lip. Richie glances at him, and Eddie sees a flash of worry in his eyes.</p><p>Truthfully, Eddie feels like his physical therapy may have hit a standstill. He does his exercises, they do a little bit of training in his leg braces, but he can never stand for longer than a minute in them without becoming <em>exhausted.</em> It’s an effort for him and his physical therapist to put them on and take them off, and he is truthfully almost ready to call it quits.</p><p>He knows Richie has been worried. Eddie used to invite him to his sessions at least once a week; he liked Richie to see that he was okay, that he was making improvements and that he was still strong even if he was mostly confined to a wheelchair. But lately, he’s felt so weak, leaving his sessions on the verge of tears and not wanting to talk about them after. Richie hasn’t come to a session in weeks, and Eddie hasn’t talked to him about any of his sessions in just as long.</p><p>He remembers how hard Richie had gripped his hand when the doctors told Eddie that he may never walk again. They hadn’t even been dating at the time, and Richie still looked like he was about to throw up. Eddie never wants to see Richie look like that again, never wants him to be disappointed with who Eddie is now.</p><p>“How’s the new book?” Eddie asks, trying to get the conversation away from him. He can feel Richie watching him, only glancing over at him when he feels Richie’s hand rest on his own that is still on Richie’s shoulder. They listen as Bill talks about his new book, but Eddie is distracted by Richie’s thumb rubbing circles into the back of his hand. He can barely even see his hand under Richie’s, his hands are so big and warm and wow, Eddie really wants them on him right this second.</p><p>“Um,” he says, not even thinking about how he’s interrupting Bill. “Bill, can we call you back?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, sure, is everything okay? I’ll be around all night, so just call back whenever –”</p><p>“Thank, will do,” Eddie says, reaching forward and grabbing the phone from where it’s resting on Richie’s belly, jamming his thumb into the phone to end the call.</p><p>Richie is looking at him with an eyebrow raised, still sprawled out on the couch. “What was that all about?”</p><p>“You know how the doctor said I should act on my… needs… when they happen?” Eddie asks, biting his lip and looking at Richie’s hand again, still resting on top of his. “They’re happening.”</p><p>Richie grins and stands up, getting off the couch and crouching down in front of Eddie so that they’re eye level. “Oh, I knew I was going to be irresistible today,” he says as he leans forward, skimming his lips against Eddie’s jaw. Eddie tips his head to the side with a small sigh. Richie’s hands slide further up his thighs as he presses a brief kiss to Eddie’s jaw.</p><p>“Kiss me, Rich,” Eddie says. “For real. And then take me to bed.”</p><p>Richie nods and kisses him deeply. Eddie moans into his mouth before Richie pulls away and stands up, quickly wheeling him into the bedroom.</p><p>----</p><p>They don’t end up calling Bill back until 10 PM. There are empty takeout containers of Chinese food on the nightstands next to them. Richie has a pair of boxers and a t-shirt on from when he went to answer the door, and Eddie just has the sheet draped over his lap. He just can’t be bothered to deal with the struggle of putting shorts on right now.</p><p>Eddie yawns into Richie’s shoulder from where he’s lying on his chest, his hand idly rubbing at Richie’s hip.</p><p>“Eddie baby, you look absolutely wrecked,” Richie says, grinning down at him. He’s sitting up and leaning against the headrest, scrolling through his phone as his hand rubs through Eddie’s hair.</p><p>“Mm,” Eddie hums. He doesn't know what else to say. He feels happy and tired, lazy and loved. Eddie presses a kiss to Richie’s chest before planting his arm into the bed to sit upright. “Help me sit up so we can call Bill back.”</p><p>Richie helps Eddie sit up against the headrest, making sure he has his balance and won’t slide down before pulling the sheet up over his lap again. “Can’t have Bill seeing the precious goods,” Richie grins. “Those babies are all mine.”</p><p>“You don’t own them, asshole,” Eddie says behind a laugh. “And are we FaceTiming Bill?”</p><p>Richie laughs again and nods. “He wants to see your beautiful face. Can’t say I blame him.”</p><p>Eddie gives him a whack on the chest with the back of his hand. “They all just like to make sure I’m in one piece.”</p><p>Richie finds Bill’s number in his contacts, pausing before he calls. “Are you in one piece right now? Because like, an hour ago I think you said that you felt like you were –”</p><p>Eddie slaps a hand over Richie’s mouth and takes the phone from his hand. He pauses for a second before looking down at his own chest, biting his lip and pulling the sheet up higher so that it comes up to his collarbones.</p><p>Richie watches him.</p><p>“I, um… Don’t think Bill wants to see… that. Or needs to see that,” he says, vaguely gesturing to where his scar is underneath the sheet.</p><p>Richie just keeps watching him, so Eddie looks away and calls Bill. He holds the phone just far enough away so that Eddie and Richie are both in the camera’s view.</p><p>“Hi,” Bill says when he answers, raising his eyebrow at them. “It’s late and I haven’t had any emergency calls, so I’m assuming everything is okay?”</p><p>“All good here, dude,” Richie says. “Eds just can’t keep his hands to himself –”</p><p>Eddie slaps his hand over Richie’s mouth again, keeping it there this time. “We actually have a question for you,” he says, squeaking as Richie licks his palm. “Rich, fuck you, that is <em>disgusting,</em> do you know how many <em>germs </em>live on your tongue, you fucking asshole –”</p><p>“Didn’t see you complaining about that earlier,” he says, waggling his eyebrows at Eddie. Eddie groans and shoves him, trying to push him off the bed without messing with his own balance.</p><p>“Go get me some hand sanitizer while I have an adult conversation with Bill.”</p><p>Richie laughs and gets off the bed to do as he’s told.</p><p>Bill is watching them, his chin propped on his hand and his eyebrow raised.</p><p>“Don’t look at me like that,” Eddie says.</p><p>“I’m not looking at you any specific way,” Bill says. “I’m just looking.”</p><p>Eddie sighs and shakes his head. “I’m fine, Bill. Everything’s fine.”</p><p>“Fine?”</p><p>Eddie ignores him, picking at the sheet. “We, um. We had an actual reason for calling you.”</p><p>Bill just keeps watching him.</p><p>“So, not a lot of venues are meeting our standards, they’re either not accessible enough or they’re ugly, and our backyard is too small, so can we, I mean, only if you want –”</p><p>“Eddie, you know I would give you literally anything you want,” Bill says. “I mean, dude, you almost died –”</p><p>“Can you just not –”</p><p>Richie comes back with the hand sanitizer, furrowing his brow when he notices Eddie’s raised voice. Eddie hands the phone back to Richie and takes the hand sanitizer, rubbing it into his hands.</p><p>“We want to get married in your backyard,” Richie says, still watching Eddie as he focuses on his hands. “If that’s okay.”</p><p>“Of course,” Bill replies instantly.</p><p>Richie and Bill chat for a little longer, but Eddie scoots down on the bed and lies down, rolling onto his side so that he’s facing away from Richie and the phone. He keeps the sheet pulled up to his shoulders, so that the scar on his back isn’t visible for Bill to even catch a glimpse at.</p><p>Eddie is aware that his friends would do literally anything for him. He’s witnessed them dropping everything to come to the hospital when Richie told them the news. He was there when they all came to the house to help Richie move furniture, paint, decorate, and install the shower bench and bathroom grab bars. He is almost <em>too </em>aware of it. He supposes that’s what happens when you get stabbed straight through by a killer clown, spend six months in the hospital, and then have long-term spinal cord damage because of it.</p><p>He knows it’s only been over a year since he discharged from the rehabilitation hospital, almost two years since the “accident.” Most of the time, he thinks he is doing pretty well considering that his life has changed completely the past two years. Not all bad, he tells himself.  He has Richie now, who he loves and who loves him. They’re getting married, and he has friends who he almost forgot about and never wants to forget about again.</p><p>But.</p><p>It’s hard for them, he knows it is. He’s different than they remember him. They only knew him for a few days as an adult before his whole life changed, it’s expected that it would be different. They thought he was dead; they had to drag what they thought was his dead body out of the house. He knows Richie held him and rocked him, pressed his shirt against his chest to try and stop some of the bleeding while his friends watched in a huddle, waiting for the ambulance to come. He can only imagine what they think when they see him, and he hates that he makes them all relive that trauma again every time they look at him.</p><p>Eddie takes a deep breath. He knows that isn’t all they see. It’s just hard sometimes. He feels selfish, like the whole world now revolves around him. All he thinks about is physical therapy, his medications, his wheelchair, the fact that he will likely never fully walk again, and it makes him feel even more selfish when he thinks about everyone else also worrying and thinking about him.</p><p>Eddie vaguely hears Richie say goodbye to Bill before he feels him lie down, pressing himself against Eddie’s backside and wrapping his arm around his waist. He nuzzles his face into the side of Eddie’s neck, kissing just below his ear.</p><p>“Want to talk?” Richie asks quietly. Eddie, in that moment, is so, so thankful for Richie. Richie knows that Eddie doesn’t always want to talk, and Eddie has learned not to snap if Richie asks if he wants to.</p><p>“Why did this happen?” Eddie asks. “No, that’s dumb, we know it’s because of the stupid fucking clown. But – Rich, things could have been so different. I’m so tired of everyone walking on eggshells around me.”</p><p>Richie is silent, pulling Eddie closer to him and hugging him tight against his body. “I think we’re pretty lucky,” Richie whispers, burying his face in Eddie’s shoulder. “I know you hate when people say this cheesy shit, but hear me out. We have each other, Eds. We didn’t have that before. I know it sucks, I <em>know</em>, I can’t even begin to imagine what you go through every single day.”</p><p>Eddie bites his lip, closing his eyes and trying to focus on the feeling of Richie’s hand on his belly.</p><p>“If this is what we get, I’m cool with it, Eds. You know that. As for the others, you know they just worry, babe. They don’t see you every day, they only get glimpses of how strong you are, but I see it every single day.”</p><p>Richie presses a kiss to Eddie’s shoulder, twining a leg between Eddie’s to bring them, somehow, even closer together.</p><p>“You’re not selfish,” Richie whispers again. “I can promise you that you are absolutely not selfish.”</p><p>Eddie is always amazed that Richie knows exactly what he is thinking, sometimes. Of course, he’s sometimes a fucking asshole who jokes when he shouldn’t and makes sex jokes at inopportune times, but his moments of sincerity, Eddie knows, are preserved for him.</p><p>“But,” Richie says after a few seconds of silence, “Would it help if you started doing something for others?”</p><p>Eddie – pauses, because that is not what he was expecting Richie to say. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Richie presses another kiss below Eddie’s ear. “You’ve handled this pretty fucking well, Eds, all things considering. I’m sure any association would love to have you on board for mentoring or whatever it is they have employees do.”</p><p>“What’s the one you’ve been donating to?” Eddie asks quietly. It’s an interesting thought, and Eddie is almost surprised he hasn’t thought of it himself. He’s thought about working again, but he just couldn’t imagine going back to his old job. He wants nothing to do with his old life, and he wants absolutely no reminders of what his life was like without Richie in it.</p><p>“I’ll send you the info,” Richie says, and Eddie can tell he’s starting to drift off to sleep.</p><p>“Go to sleep, Rich,” Eddie whispers, turning his head to press a soft kiss to Richie’s lips. “We’ll talk more in the morning.”</p><p>Once Richie’s breath evens out, Eddie thinks. For the past year and a half, ever since he was discharged from the hospital, Eddie has been focused on his recovery and on therapy. He was adamant about regaining as much mobility as he could so that he could do as much as possible. Eddie and everyone around him have been so focused on <em>him.</em> Eddie thinks that, maybe, it might be time for him to focus on someone else.</p><p>He thinks about Richie in Bill’s backyard again, dressed in a tuxedo and sitting in a chair under a wedding arch. Richie is fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket, grinning at Eddie as he sits in his wheelchair across from him, resting his hand on Richie’s thigh to get it to stop twitching up and down.</p><p>Tomorrow, he thinks. Tomorrow, he’ll call Richie’s associations to see what jobs are available. Tomorrow, he’ll start calling wedding vendors to book them for the date.</p><p>But tonight, right now, Eddie lets Richie hold him. Richie has always been his solid, his constant, but right now, Eddie feels like everything else in his life might also work out to his advantage.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, it is possible for individuals with a complete spinal cord injury to have sex. There are a lot of intricacies involved in the how/why that are very much not in my writing wheelhouse or my area of expertise, so this is as much detail as you will get from me on that topic.</p><p>Find me on twitter @edskasper if you want to chat :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. eddie 2.0</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Eddie needs motivation. He just didn't think it would involve dancing and a cat.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This update is long! I have no control over these characters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">October 2018</span>
</p>
<p>Eddie sits in the waiting room of the physical therapy office, checking his watch to see how much time is left until his appointment. Richie dropped him off five minutes ago, helping him out of the car and kissing him on the cheek.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you in an hour, babe,” he said, grinning at Eddie with a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.</p>
<p>Eddie knows he wanted to stay, but he hasn’t let Richie stay for an appointment in over a month now. He doesn’t want Richie to see him struggling again, and he doesn’t want him to think that he’s weak.</p>
<p>Eddie sighs. He knows that he’s grumpy today but there’s nothing he can really do about it at this point. He knows his physical therapist never puts up with his shit anyway. The woman is a ruthless saint and Eddie is sometimes terrified of her.</p>
<p>“Come on back, young man,” Morgan says as she quickly rounds the corner from the therapy gym. “Time to sweat!”</p>
<p>Eddie lets out a little laugh and unlocks his wheelchair, rolling towards Morgan. “You’re like 15 years younger than me.”</p>
<p>Morgan waves his comment away with her hand. “What’s up today, dude?” She says as they go into the gym. “Everything good? No problems over the weekend?”</p>
<p>“Nope,” Eddie says, following her over to one of the treatment tables. “Felt more cramps than usual though, so I had Richie do some extra stretching with me.”</p>
<p>Morgan nods, helping him position his chair next to the treatment table so that he can easily transfer over. “Need help?”</p>
<p>Eddie shakes his head and easily swings his bottom over to the treatment table, just like she had taught him to what now feels like so many weeks ago. Morgan slides a pillow into a pillowcase and flops it down onto the table, patting at it and nodding at Eddie to lay down.</p>
<p>Eddie groans quietly as he lays down onto the pillow, first on his side before rolling onto his back. </p>
<p>“What are you feeling?” Morgan asks. “That groan is telling.”</p>
<p>“Just – I don’t know. Stiff I guess?” Eddie says, shrugging and placing one of his hands behind his head on the pillow. “My right leg especially.”</p>
<p>Morgan nods and starts to stretch his right leg. Eddie breaths deeply, trying to let himself relax into the stretch. “Did you have a stressful weekend or something?” Morgan asks, watching Eddie’s face. “You know your stress sometimes makes it worse.”</p>
<p>Eddie is about to say no, but he pauses. He hasn’t really thought that he’s been more stressed than usual, but when he thinks about it, he can think of maybe a dozen things that might be stressing him out.</p>
<p>There’s the wedding planning, which is actually going smoother than it was; there’s his new job with the United Spinal Association, which is great but, as with any new job, has its challenges as he adjusts to it. There’s therapy, obviously and then – there’s Richie.</p>
<p>Who is absolutely not a stressor and could never be a stressor for Eddie. Eddie loves him and can’t imagine his life without him, but – he’s just felt odd the past few months. He knows Richie’s been giving him his space even when Richie doesn’t want to, and Eddie is grateful for that. But he doesn't know why he even wants space to begin with.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Eddie finally replies. “Maybe.”</p>
<p>Morgan moves into a different stretch, patting him on the knee. “I haven’t seen Big Rich in a while,” she muses. “He’s doing okay?”</p>
<p>Eddie nods and bites his lip. “He’s good. We just – I haven’t wanted him to come,” Eddie says. He almost feels embarrassed saying it, because Richie used to come at least once a week up until a month or so ago. It helps Richie to know what to help Eddie with at home, and it made Eddie feel good for Richie to see him and the progress he’s making.</p>
<p>“I know I tell you this every time, but you really are doing amazing,” she says. “I know it doesn’t seem like that, but you really are, Eddie. You know your insurance would have kicked you out of here by now if you weren’t making any progress.”</p>
<p>Eddie knows this. He knows that he’s lucky to even be able to get the leg braces that allow him to stand, even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time. He just can’t help feeling discouraged when he can’t even stand for longer than two minutes in leg braces and while clinging to a balance bar.</p>
<p>Morgan moves to his other leg, still watching him. “Maybe we need to set some new goals,” Morgan says. “We both know it isn’t totally realistic for you to walk regularly in your braces.”</p>
<p>Eddie nods. He knows it and he really would rather have his energy for the whole day, even if he manages to be able to walk short distances with his braces. He doesn’t want to be exhausted all day just for five minutes of walking.</p>
<p>“Let’s make a deal,” Morgan says, grinning. Eddie knows that grin. It usually means Morgan is plotting something and Eddie is about to make a deal with the devil.</p>
<p>“Oh god,” he says. “What have you got up your fuck – sorry, no swearing in the clinic, I know – what have you got up your sleeve this time?”</p>
<p>Morgan laughs at his slip up. “It’s been almost two years and I still have to scold you about swearing. I swear, dude, you’re worse than some of the teenagers I get in here.”</p>
<p>“Just tell me my fate,” Eddie says dramatically. “Get it over with.”</p>
<p>“Okay, hear me out. You’re getting married in – what, end of 2019? So basically, a year from now, yeah?”</p>
<p>“August 2019,” he replies, squinting at her and breathing deeper as she pushes the stretch a little further.</p>
<p>“And just to clarify before I say what I have to say…”</p>
<p>Eddie squints at her more.</p>
<p>“You do trust me, right? I have established my knowledge and expertise with you? You aren’t going to dump me as your PT when you hear what I have to say?”</p>
<p>Eddie laughs, a real laugh, because he can’t help but laugh at Morgan’s antics sometimes. “You know you’re stuck with me,” he replies. “You’ve adapted to me really well and I don’t think anybody else would even put up with my attitude.”</p>
<p>“It’s charming,” she says. “You’re like a rabid Yorkie. All bark and sometimes bite but you’re so small you can only make a dent.”</p>
<p>Eddie groans, covering his eyes with his arm. “You are the worst.”</p>
<p>“You love me.”</p>
<p>“Only sometimes, but that time is not right now.”</p>
<p>Morgan moves into a different stretch, patting his knee again. “Okay, so we’ve established you trust me. Now hear me out.”</p>
<p>Eddie moves his arm away from his eyes and looks at her.</p>
<p>“We have time, and you need motivation. So, here’s what we’re going to do.”</p>
<p>Eddie watches her, raising an eyebrow. This goddamn woman has a crazy look in her eyes and Eddie is more than a little petrified.</p>
<p>“Go home and pick your first dance song with Big Rich. Email it to me tomorrow, schedule an appointment for Wednesday, and then we’ll go from there.”</p>
<p>“Uh,” he says, furrowing his brow at her. “What exactly are we doing with it?”</p>
<p>“We’re going to get you that first dance with your husband,” she says with a huff. “Obviously.”</p>
<p>Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He can’t even imagine how that’s going to be possible. He can’t even <em>stand </em>in his braces for the duration of a whole song, but – a dance? At his wedding?</p>
<p>It’s crazy, she’s just saying this to give Eddie motivation, but – she’s not, he knows she doesn’t do that. It’s not good for her or for him to set unrealistic goals.</p>
<p>“Can you, uh, maybe explain that to me?” He asks after a few minutes of silence. Morgan sets his leg down and offers him a hand, helping him to sit upright on the edge of the treatment table. She grabs a stool and slides it over so that she’s sitting next to him.</p>
<p>“We have almost a year,” she says. “Your insurance resets in January, so you’ll have more than enough visits to get you through to the wedding, but we also offer cash-payment services if you want to keep coming anyway. But that’s not the point.”</p>
<p>She pats Eddie’s hand where it’s resting on the table. “I’ve been doing this for years, Eddie. Please trust me when I tell you that we can get you moving enough for a slow dance by your wedding. We’ll have to figure out logistics for putting the braces on for the dance and all of that, but we don’t need to think about that stuff right now. Right now, we just need to get you standing and work on your endurance so you don’t crash and burn right after the dance.”</p>
<p>Eddie slowly nods. It sounds reasonable when she explains it like that.</p>
<p>“I do want one other thing to go with this deal, though,” she says before he can respond.</p>
<p>“Oh god,” he says. “Do I have to sign my life over? I thought I already did that by agreeing to come here for the rest of my life.”</p>
<p>Morgan laughs and shakes her head. “No. Not yet, anyway.” She pauses and smiles at him, lowering her voice. “I want you to bring Big Rich with you on Wednesday. And then I want him to come with you at least once a week again, like he was before.”</p>
<p>“You don't want the dancing to be a surprise?”</p>
<p>“No can do, my man,” she replies. “We’re going to need to involve him in the plan since you’ll probably still be clinging to him for dear life during the dance.”</p>
<p>Eddie nods and thinks about Richie holding a hand out to him, asking him to dance for their first dance as husbands. Eddie would push himself up with the armrests of his wheelchair as Richie grabs him by the arms and helps him to standing, Eddie clinging to his biceps as Richie holds him in place.</p>
<p>“And,” Morgan continues as she stands up and goes to grab the big exercise ball, “It’s good for him to be here. We’ve done a bunch of new stuff he hasn’t seen. He likes watching you. And I like to give him shit.”</p>
<p>Eddie laughs and puts his arms on the exercise ball as Morgan sets it down on the ground in front of him. “Okay,” he says, “But ‘Big Rich’ isn’t going to go easy on you since he hasn’t been here in a bit.”</p>
<p>“I can handle it. Now stop chatting and do your exercise.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Eddie didn’t say much on the ride home. He’s now sitting across from Richie at the dinner table, poking at his enchilada and thinking. He can feel Richie watching him as he eats, but he doesn’t say anything.</p>
<p>Eddie lets out a sigh and rubs a hand across his forehead, trying to relax the tension he can feel building up in his head. He takes a bite of his enchilada and looks up at Richie. Richie is looking at him with a hint of concern in his eye, and Eddie feels a twinge in his heart thinking that he’s the reason Richie is worrying right now.</p>
<p>Richie finishes eating and takes his plate to the sink, rinsing it off and setting it in the dishwasher. He moves in silence, but Eddie can tell he is trying to keep an eye on him while he is turned to the side.</p>
<p>Eddie finishes eating and unlocks his wheelchair, rolling backwards and out from under the table. He grabs his plate and sets it on his lap before rolling over to where Richie is on the sink.  Eddie sets the plate down next to the sink before wheeling up behind Richie and wrapping his arms around his waist, resting his forehead on Richie’s low back.</p>
<p>“Morgan had an idea today,” he mumbles into Richie’s back.</p>
<p>Richie rinses off Eddie’s plate, and Eddie feels a small splash of water hit his hands.  “Oh?” Richie says once he turns the water off. “What does that little gremlin have planned for you now?”</p>
<p>“She’s not a gremlin, asshole, and she hates when you call her short,” Eddie grumbles into Richie’s back.</p>
<p>Richie laughs and wiggles his hips, causing his ass to rub against Eddie’s face.  “C’mon, couch,” Richie says. “As much as I love you nuzzling my ass, it’s time for me to cuddle the shit out of you.”</p>
<p>Eddie laughs and backs up, turning and rolling towards the couch. It’s not far, nothing in their house is really spaced out. Richie made sure that the house layout was accessible and large enough for him to navigate within his chair, but small enough that he wouldn’t get exhausted just going room to room.</p>
<p>Eddie does a quick transfer over to the couch, landing on it with a flop. Richie comes and sits right next to him, holding his arm out and motioning for Eddie to lean into him. Eddie turns towards him and leans into Richie’s side, his head resting on Richie’s chest as Richie’s arm wraps around him.</p>
<p>“What did Morgan have to say?” Richie asks, his hand rubbing the side of Eddie’s arm.</p>
<p>“Oh, right,” Eddie says, slightly distracted by Richie’s hand on his arm. “She wants me to dance at our wedding.”</p>
<p>Richie is silent, and his hand stops moving on Eddie’s arm. “Um, what?”</p>
<p>“With the leg braces, just one dance. It probably won’t even be a dance so much as a few steps in each direction with you holding me up,” Eddie says quickly. “We have almost a year to work on it. She thinks I can do it.”</p>
<p>Richie exhales and presses a kiss to the top of Eddie’s head, pausing and nuzzling his nose into Eddie’s hair. “Not that I’m not honored you want to dance with yours truly, but what brought this on?”</p>
<p>Eddie pauses, rubbing his hand across Richie’s chest. “Um,” he says quietly, “Things in therapy haven’t been going great. She thinks I need more motivation and direction.”</p>
<p>Richie is silent again, and Eddie’s stomach knots up. He glances up at him and he sees Richie blinking quickly, bringing his free hand up and quickly wiping the back of his hand under his glasses and over his eyes.</p>
<p>Eddie quickly pushes off of Richie’s chest so that he’s sitting upright, looking Richie in the eye. “Rich?” He says, trying not to sound alarmed. “Sweetheart?”</p>
<p>Richie wipes at his eyes again before looking at Eddie. His arm is still wrapped around Eddie, now at an awkward angle. Eddie feels him pulling him close again, situating them so they’re pressed side to side.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Richie says quietly. “I just, I noticed you might have been having a hard time lately. Didn’t want to say anything though because it didn’t seem like you wanted to talk about it. Wanted to give you your space.”</p>
<p>Eddie, as he thinks a thousand times a day, is so, so thankful for Richie. “I’m okay,” Eddie says softly. “It’s just, the standing in the braces, it’s hard, Rich. I didn’t want you to see me like that.”</p>
<p>Richie’s free hand comes and rests on Eddie’s thigh, bringing him even closer. “You know I don’t care about that. I know how far you’ve come, Eds.”</p>
<p>“I know. I know that now, anyway. I was mostly just in my head. But Morgan wants you to start coming again. She thinks it’ll be good for both of us.”</p>
<p>Richie nods, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s temple. “Can I come Wednesday?”</p>
<p>“She demanded you do, actually, so yeah.”</p>
<p>Eddie wraps both of his arms around Richie’s torso, leaning into him and resting his head on his chest again. He gives him a small squeeze. “She wants us to send her the song to our first dance.”</p>
<p>“Got it,” Richie says instantly. “Anything by George Michael.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Richie gives him a look of exasperation before grinning again. “Ginuwine.”</p>
<p>Eddie groans. “We are not having our first dance to <em>Pony</em>, dickhead.”</p>
<p>“Boys II Men, you know, <em>I’ll make love to youuuu, like you want  –“ </em>Richie sings. Eddie quickly slaps a hand over his mouth, looking him in the eye.</p>
<p>“Your music taste is shit,” Eddie says, not removing his hand from Richie’s mouth.  Richie raises an eyebrow at him. “Don’t you dare lick me again.”</p>
<p>Eddie quickly removes his hand before Richie does exactly the opposite of what he’s told. He leans back against Richie’s chest with a huff, pulling his phone from his pocket and scrolling through his music.</p>
<p>“Hm,” he says after a couple of minutes. He points his phone screen at Richie and shows it to him. “What do you think?”</p>
<p>Richie looks at the screen and presses play on the phone. The song plays as Richie and Eddie listen, Eddie’s thumb tracing circles on Richie’s chest.</p>
<p>“I think it’s perfect, Eds,” Richie says quietly as the song comes to a close.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Eddie lifts his head up to look at Richie.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Richie leans forward and kisses Eddie, a hand coming up to cup Eddie’s jaw.</p>
<p>“Mm,” Eddie says against his mouth. “Me too.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>On Wednesday, Morgan grins when she sees both Eddie and Richie waiting in the clinic’s waiting room. “Big Rich,” she shouts, jogging over to them. “My man!”</p>
<p>Richie laughs and reaches out to shake her hand. “Nice to see you too, Morgan,” he says, grinning at her.</p>
<p>Eddie unlocks his wheelchair and starts heading towards the gym. He feels nervous. Richie hasn’t been here with him for a while, and he knows that he is probably going to be trying something different with Morgan today.</p>
<p>“Glad you could join us,” Morgan says as she goes to get a pump of hand sanitizer. “It’s been a while.”</p>
<p>Richie nods and glances at Eddie. Eddie wheels himself toward the treatment table before transferring himself over to it.</p>
<p>“Hey, listen. I listened to the song you sent me,” she tells Eddie, sitting on a stool to the side of him. “I can work with that.”</p>
<p>“I am afraid for what you’re going to make me do,” Eddie says with a smile. “You’re too youthful to be choreographing my dance. I’m going to end up doing one of those Tok dances. I’m not ready to be famous.”</p>
<p>Richie and Morgan both laugh, Richie coming to sit on the table next to Eddie.</p>
<p>“I think it’s TikTok,” Morgan says, “I’m almost too old for that anyway. According to all the teens, at least.”</p>
<p>Richie pats Eddie’s knee and smiles at him. “He can’t help that he’s so unhip,” Richie says. “It’s in his DNA.”</p>
<p>“It is not, I’m cool!” Eddie shouts, biting his lip when a few other patients in the clinic over at him.</p>
<p>“Sure, babe,” Richie says. “You’re definitely the coolest.”</p>
<p>Morgan laughs at them, going to grab his braces from where they’re stored in a bag on the back of his wheelchair.  “You feeling okay to skip stretching today?” She asks, waving the braces at him.</p>
<p>Eddie nods. “I think so. Definitely felt better after you spent all that time stretching me on Monday.”</p>
<p>“Great,” she says, grinning and crouching down to begin helping Eddie put the braces on. “We won’t get to my amazing choreography just yet, but we need to get you up and moving.”</p>
<p>Morgan gets the braces on and drags the overhead harness over, getting the vest on him and clipping him to the ceiling. “We haven’t done this before, but this is basically going to unweight you so that it’s easier and less tiring for you to stand. Big Rich,” she says, grabbing his sleeve and dragging him over, “I want you to stand right in front of him. Hold onto him and distract him.”</p>
<p>Richie grins at Eddie. “Oh, I am the master of distraction. He can never get any work done when I’m around because he is so distracted by me and my –” </p>
<p>“Do NOT finish that sentence,” Eddie huffs.</p>
<p>Morgan laughs and goes to stand to the side of Eddie.  “Okay, Eddie. When I count to three, push up with your arms and Richie and I will get you into standing. I’ll tighten the rope so you’re unweighted. There is absolutely no way you could fall while in this contraption. Remember how to lock your braces out?”</p>
<p>Eddie nods and takes a deep breath. “Yep.”</p>
<p>“Great,” Morgan says. “Big Rich, ready?”</p>
<p>“Roger,” Richie says, smiling at Eddie.</p>
<p>Eddie thinks Richie looks a little nervous. Morgan is to his side and he trusts her, knows she wouldn’t be doing anything that might risk him falling. “You okay?” Eddie mouths at Richie, raising an eyebrow at him.</p>
<p>Richie nods. Eddie feels Richie’s hands grip him a little tighter.</p>
<p>“Alright boys,” Morgan says, gripping Eddie’s harness and nodding at Richie. “Count of three.”</p>
<p>Morgan counts to three, and Eddie feels himself standing up. He feels unsteady, quickly reaching forward to grip Richie’s shoulders. “Whoa. Uh, can’t quite get them locked, Morgan.”</p>
<p>Morgan quickly throws her leg in front of both of Eddie’s, pushing his knees backwards until the braces lock. “There we go,” she says, grinning at him. “We’ll work on it, we have time. Now we’re just going to hang out like this. Test your feet on the ground, try letting go of Big Rich with one hand, move your torso around. You aren’t going anywhere in this thing, so now is the time to test the waters a little bit.”</p>
<p>Eddie looks down at his feet. It’s odd, standing like this. His hands are gripping Richie’s shoulders, and he can feel Richie holding him tightly. Morgan is still gripping his harness and watching him, and he knows she’s assessing for things they can work on.</p>
<p>Eddie has to look up to look at Richie’s face. “Thought I was taller than this,” he says, frowning at Richie.</p>
<p>Richie laughs, wrapping one arm around Eddie so he can rub at his back. “Not a chance, Spagheds. Can’t be dating anybody taller than me, it wounds my ego.”</p>
<p>Eddie gives him a gentle smack on the shoulder. They stand like that for another minute or so, Eddie smiling and watching Richie as Richie watches him. He feels himself getting tired, his head feeling a little dizzy. “Can we sit down?”</p>
<p>Morgan nods and shoots into action. “You okay?” She asks. “No passing out on me.”</p>
<p>“All good,” Eddie says. “Just, maybe a little woozy.”</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s get you down. Keep those big Bambi eyes open, young man,” she says. “I’m going to loosen the harness and unlock your braces at the same time. Richie, he’s going down as soon as they’re unlocked, I need you to help lower him down to the table.”</p>
<p>Richie nods. Morgan slackens the harness and unlocks his brace, and Eddie feels his knees buckle under him before his butt hits the chair with a mild thump.</p>
<p>“Alright, that needs work,” Morgan says, crouching down to look him in the eyes. “Do you need to lie down?”</p>
<p>Eddie takes a deep breath and nods. He still feels a little dizzy. He takes the bottle of water Richie hands to him and takes a sip as Morgan goes to fetch a pillow for him. She sets the pillow down and pats at it. Eddie hands the bottle back Richie and lies down on his back, closing his eyes for a second.</p>
<p>He knows it wasn’t great. He shouldn’t feel like this after standing for only a few minutes. He didn’t even have all of his body weight to support. Eddie takes a deep breath and opens his eyes again.</p>
<p>Richie is sitting on a stool next to him, his eyes concerned. Eddie reaches a hand out towards him and waves it at him, trying to get Richie to take it. “M’okay,” Eddie says when Richie takes his hand and squeezes.</p>
<p>“That is a perfectly normal reaction, Eddie,” Morgan says, coming back with a blood pressure cuff. “Think about it – that’s the longest you’ve stood upright in two years. Your body and your brain need to adjust. I think your blood pressure probably just dropped from being in a new position for so long.”</p>
<p>Eddie knows she’s right. Everything she says always makes sense, but Eddie can’t help but feel like he’s failing. He knows they have a year to work on it, and he knows that Morgan is determined, and she is just <em>good</em> at her job. He has no doubts in her. But he has doubts in himself.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Morgan says once she finishes taking his blood pressure. “I want you to lie here for a little longer and then we’ll do some stretches, but no more exercises today. You can go home and do your arm stuff if you want, but not until after dinner.”</p>
<p>Eddie nods and he feels Richie squeeze his hand.</p>
<p>“I know that look,” Morgan says, looking at him again. “Please don’t beat yourself up, Eddie. That was good. You couldn’t even stand for a minute last week. It takes time, but we have time, my dude. I would not give you a goal I couldn’t think you could achieve.”</p>
<p>“I know. I know, sorry,” he says. “It was just a lot.”</p>
<p>“Absolutely,” Morgan agrees. She quickly gets his braces off before beginning to stretch his legs. “We’ll keep working on it, I’ll get your song choreographed, and we’ll work on increasing your endurance.”</p>
<p>“Oh, he has plenty of endurance,” Richie says, startling Eddie after being silent for so long. His voice is lighter, and he breaks out into a grin. Eddie groans. He knows that grin.</p>
<p>“Do not finish that thought,” Eddie says. “Please, do not finish that thought. We are in public. I will actually throw you out the window if you finish that thought here.”</p>
<p>Richie and Morgan both laugh. “I know you could, look at those guns, man!” Richie says, smacking one of Eddie’s biceps gently. “That thing could flatten me with just one punch!”</p>
<p>“I hate you,” Eddie says, trying not to laugh. “Get out of here.”</p>
<p>“No can do, babe.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Eddie works on Thursdays. The United Spinal Association agreed to phase him into working, starting him out with one day of work a week and gradually increasing it. For now, he is able to work from home as he completes his training modules and is mainly just doing paperwork. Eventually, they want him to start doing mentoring, but that won’t happen for a while.</p>
<p>Eddie sighs and closes his laptop, looking up towards the ceiling. It’s been three days since his physical therapy appointment, and he’s feeling better, but it’s still weighing on him. He wants Richie to be able to have a first dance at his wedding. Richie has already sacrificed so much for him; he wants to be able to give him something.</p>
<p>He glances at the clock, noting that it’s almost six in the evening. The sun is setting outside, and it’s getting dark in the small office space. Eddie unlocks his brakes and wheels out from under the desk, going into the kitchen to start dinner.</p>
<p>He grabs a large pot from the cabinet and fills it with water. Richie had made sure the counter height in the kitchen was low enough so Eddie could access it, but high enough so that Richie wouldn’t have to be bent in half to use it. Richie does most of the cooking anyway – not because it’s easier for him, but because he is genuinely better at it than Eddie.</p>
<p>As Eddie waits for the water to boil, his phone rings in his pocket. Eddie fishes it out and smiles when he sees Richie’s name on the screen.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Eddie says when he answers.</p>
<p>“Don’t be mad,” Richie says immediately in leu of a greeting.</p>
<p>“Uh. I’m probably going to be mad if you have to tell me not to be mad.” Eddie pauses, rubbing at his forehead. “What did you do? I don’t have to bail you out of jail, do I?”</p>
<p>“Okay, no I’m not in jail. Just hear me out,” Richie says. “I know you’ve been down lately, and we’re both stressed with work and the wedding.”</p>
<p>Eddie leans back in his chair and listens, raising an eyebrow even though he knows Richie can’t see him. “What. Did. You. Do?”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay. I might have… found a cat? Not on the street, but like, I found it in a shelter? It’s a kitten, small, you’ll see once I’m home.”</p>
<p>“You found a cat.”</p>
<p>“In a shelter!”</p>
<p>“Why were you even in an animal shelter?!” Eddie asks. “You don’t just go into a shelter for fun!”</p>
<p>“Okay, well, maybe I <em>did</em> find the kitten in a box outside of the Netflix studio, but <em>then </em>I took it to a shelter –”</p>
<p>“You are not bringing a stray kitten into our home,” Eddie says. “Absolutely not.”</p>
<p>“It’s not a stray! It was in the shelter! They gave it an exam and said he was now up for adoption so! Not a stray!”</p>
<p>“I’m going to throw you out the window when you get home,” Eddie groans, pouring the pasta into the pot. “I’m making mostaccioli for dinner.”</p>
<p>“Why are you always threatening to throw me out windows?” Richie asks with a laugh. “And oh, yum, I love your mostaccioli.”</p>
<p>“It’s the only way I could end you that wouldn’t be questionable,” Eddie replies. “Nobody would think a guy in a wheelchair could throw your giant ass out a window.”</p>
<p>“So… can we keep the cat?”</p>
<p>“Get home so I can see him and you and then we’ll talk about it.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Richie walks in the door. Eddie is seated in the kitchen by the stove, his eyebrow raised as he watches Richie toe his shoes off. He has a small crate in his hand, and Eddie can hear the kitten mewing inside if it.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry?” Richie says, coming closer to Eddie.</p>
<p>“Did you really think a cat would cheer me up?” Eddie asks, trying to peer into the crate.</p>
<p>“Not cheer you up, exactly, just like, make you happier? Give you something else to focus on that isn’t stressful?”</p>
<p>Eddie sighs, leaning back in his chair. “Take him out. Let’s see the beast.”</p>
<p>Richie sets the crate on the table, reaching in with one hand and scooping the kitten out. His back it to Eddie right now, and he looks over his shoulder at him. “Okay, don’t freak out.”</p>
<p>“Why would I freak out?”</p>
<p>Richie turns around, the kitten resting in his palm.</p>
<p>The kitten… has no hair.</p>
<p>“What the fuck is that?” Eddie asks, his eyebrows shooting up on his forehead.</p>
<p>“It’s a kitten! A sphynx kitten!” Richie says quickly, stroking the top of the kitten’s head with one finger. “These things are expensive, Eds, do you know how lucky I am that I just found it? And it won’t shed so we won’t have to worry about fur!”</p>
<p>“It has no fucking hair,” Eddie says. “It looks like a rat.”</p>
<p>“It does not, you take that back, he can <em>hear</em> you –”</p>
<p>Eddie sighs again and holds out his hands towards Richie. “Let me see him.”</p>
<p>Richie hands the kitten over to Eddie. Eddie holds it in both hands, holding it in front of his face and looking at it.</p>
<p>“It’s fucking ugly, Rich,” he says, watching as the kitten brings one of its paws up to lick at it.</p>
<p>“No, he’s not, he’s just <em>different</em>, don’t judge him by his appearances.”</p>
<p>“He looks like he’s inside out,” Eddie says. “Why the fuck do these cats not have any fur?”</p>
<p>Eddie feels – he thinks about it, and he feels almost like his old self, in this moment. He’s joking with Richie and swearing at him, and he truthfully hasn’t thought about anything that’s been stressing him recently since Richie got home with the cat.</p>
<p>Eddie sighs. Maybe Richie was onto something. He reaches out and scratches the top of the kitten’s head, smiling a little when it turns to look at him before jumping down from Eddie’s hands and into his lap, curling up between his thighs and tucking his nose under his tail.</p>
<p>“Okay, sure,” Eddie grumbles. “Just go to sleep, whatever, it’s not like I wanted to pet you or anything, you fucking mole.”</p>
<p>Richie laughs and goes to stir the pasta on the stove for Eddie. “Stop being mean to him,” Richie says, pouring the pasta in with the sauce and mixing it.</p>
<p>“I’m just stating facts,” Eddie says. “He looks like a brain.”</p>
<p>“That’s fucking disgusting, Eds, he’s not a <em>brain.</em>”</p>
<p>Eddie strokes the cat’s head as he sleeps, glancing up at Richie. “I suppose we can keep him.”</p>
<p>“I knew I could get you to agree,” Richie grins, bringing two bowls of pasta to the table. “I had backup plans, of course, I know you are easily manipulated by my tongue.”</p>
<p>“Ugh,” Eddie says, rolling to the table with the cat still in his lap. “You’re the worst.”</p>
<p>“You love me.”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately.”</p>
<p>Eddie sets the cat down, watching as he flops dramatically on his side and falls back asleep. “You have any name ideas?” Eddie asks as he situates himself at the table.</p>
<p>“I was thinking Dobby,” Richie says, glancing at him on the floor. “He looks like a house elf.”</p>
<p>“You were just yelling at me for calling him names!”</p>
<p>“I know, but if we name him a funny name, it wouldn’t be making fun of him anymore! It’s just his name!”</p>
<p>Eddie huffs and shakes his head. “Fine,” he says. “Welcome home, Dobby.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>That night, Eddie sits in bed reading while Richie sets up everything for Dobby. He apparently had made a trip to the pet store on his way home, so Dobby is now the most spoiled naked cat to exist in California.</p>
<p>“That cat better fucking outlive us for how much shit you bought him,” Eddie says from the bedroom. Richie quickly rounds the corner and grins at him, flopping on the bed next to him. He rolls on his side, propped up on his elbow and looks at Eddie. He rubs at Eddie’s thigh with his other hand, smiling at him before gently removing the book from his hands.</p>
<p>“I do think it worked, though,” Richie says, smiling at him and tugging Eddie to lie down with him. He wraps his arm around Eddie’s waist one they’re both lying down, his arm draped across Eddie’s waist and his head resting on his chest.</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, I think you’re right,” Eddie says with a sigh. “He’ll be a good distraction.”</p>
<p>Richie kisses Eddie’s chest. “I know you’re still adjusting to everything,” he says quietly, rubbing Eddie’s hip with his hand. “But you are doing so good, Eds. Morgan is right about how far you’ve come. And I am confident she’ll have you up and ready for our wedding.”</p>
<p>Eddie bites his lip, bringing his hand to run through Richie’s hair. “I know,” he says. “I trust her. It’s just sometimes hard to feel like myself when I can’t even fucking stand.”</p>
<p>Richie nods against his chest. “Maybe you don’t need to feel like your old self.” He pauses, lifting his head up to look at Eddie. “Your life is different now, Eds. We’re both different, I think. I mean, thank fucking god I’m not my old self. Don’t think you would have tolerated that asshole for more than a year.”</p>
<p>Eddie laughs and thinks. Maybe Richie’s right. His life before wasn’t great either. He didn’t have Richie, he was stuck in a marriage to a woman, he didn’t have the Losers or, apparently, a fucking hairless cat.</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Eddie says after a few seconds. “New Eddie.”</p>
<p>“Not New Eddie,” Richie says. “You’re still Eddie. Just Eddie 2.0. Updates include the ability to believe in yourself and the things you can do.”</p>
<p>Eddie smiles and nods. “I love you,” he says.</p>
<p>“I know,” Richie replies instantly. “I love you, too.”</p>
<p>Eddie sighs and strokes his hand through Richie’s hair. His new normal sometimes doesn’t look so bad, he thinks. He has Richie, who loves him and is going to marry him next year. He has a fucking hairless cat, apparently, he has friends who care about him, and he has a job that he thinks he’ll actually really like once he gets going with it.</p>
<p>Eddie yawns, his eyes trying to close on their own. It’s been a long week and even though he usually doesn’t sleep well, he has been sleeping even worse this week. “Can’t wait to marry you,” he says around his yawn.</p>
<p>“I know,” Richie replies. “And, Eds. If you don’t want to do the dance, we don’t have to. I don’t want you making yourself stressed about it.”</p>
<p>“No,” Eddie says instantly, opening his eyes. He feels a new fire in him. He <em>is</em> going to dance with Richie at their wedding, there is no fucking way he isn’t going to. “It’s happening. Don't even suggest to me that it isn’t going to happen.”</p>
<p>Richie laughs and nods, pulling the covers over both of them. “You’ve been hanging out with Morgan too much,” he mumbles, nuzzling against Eddie’s chest.</p>
<p>“It’s forced. I don’t have a choice.”</p>
<p>“Keep telling yourself that.”</p>
<p>Eddie presses a kiss to the top of Richie’s head. “Time to sleep,” he says. “I’m actually tired for once.”</p>
<p>“Mm,” Richie mumbles, just at the edge of sleep. “Kept you up to late last night, huh?”</p>
<p>“Shut up and go to bed.”</p>
<p>Richie’s breathing evens out, and Eddie closes his eyes. He feels lighter than he has in weeks. He just hopes the fucking hairless cat doesn’t scratch up the couch in the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is Dobby: https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/adorable-hairless-sphynx-kittens-39-5cb83cdfc1b53__700.jpg</p>
<p>And the United Spinal Association is real! You can read more about it here: https://unitedspinal.org/</p>
<p>Find me @edskasper on twitter if you want to chat :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. to nap and to hold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“I’m not a child,” Eddie says with a huff, rolling his eyes. “I don’t need naps. I just want them.”</p><p>“Hey, no judgment here, man,” Richie says. “I take naps after being awake for only two hours if I can. Two hours awake, two asleep. The perfect ratio.”<br/>--<br/>Eddie keeps adjusting and Richie keeps loving him. There also might be cake involved.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">January 2019</span>
</p><p>Eddie’s first day working in the office is anxiety-inducing. Neither of them got much sleep last night. Eddie was tossing and turning with nervous energy, and he assumes Richie was doing the same.</p><p>In the morning, Richie takes him for coffee from his favorite coffee shop and drops him off right at the door. He goes around the side and gets Eddie’s chair out of the car, unfolding it and patting it once it’s ready for him. Eddie gives him a soft smile and easily transfers into it, like he’s done many times before.</p><p>This isn’t the first time they’ve been apart. Eddie watches as Richie bites his lip and watches him. Richie has been working for a while now, going into work when needed and doing what he can from home. But this is the first time <em>Eddie </em>is leaving <em>Richie. </em>It’s a big change for both of them.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie says, grabbing Richie’s hand and looking up at him. He gives it a little tug, once, twice until Richie gets the hint and crouches down in front of him. “Everything will be okay.”</p><p>“I know,” Richie says. His voice is a little hoarse, Eddie notices. Richie clears his throat before continuing. “It’s just – different?”</p><p>“Rich,” Eddie says softly. “You’re just a phone call away. And this is an association that literally deals with individuals with spinal cord injuries. Everything will be okay. People here know what’s up if something were to happen.”</p><p>Eddie sees a flash of panic in Richie’s eyes. He can’t even imagine how Richie is feeling, hell, <em>he</em> is feeling a little panicked at the thought of spending the whole day away from their house when he has only ever left for a few hours at a time since being discharged from the hospital.</p><p>“Rich,” Eddie says again, but his voice is a little higher pitched than before. “Richie, please, I…” He cuts off and swallows, sitting up straighter in his chair and looking down at their hands resting in Eddie’s laugh.</p><p>He’s nervous. He knows he can be away from Richie, but he doesn't want Richie to be worrying about him; <em>he</em> doesn’t want to be worrying the whole time he is away from the safety of their home. This is a new job and a new place. Eddie is used to new situations at this point and he thinks he has done okay at adjusting to everything, but that doesn’t make it any easier.</p><p>“Eddie baby,” Richie says with a small smile on his face. He brings his other hand up to cup Eddie’s cheek, watching him closely. “I think today is just going to suck for us no matter what. But it’ll be over before you know it, and then I’ll be here to pick you up.”</p><p>Eddie nods and bites his lip. “You better have an amazing dinner made if I’m going to be here working all day while you’re at home lounging with the cat.”</p><p>“I can’t help that I’m the ideal trophy husband, Eds,” Richie say, a grin slowly forming on his face. “I think it’s what I was made to do.”</p><p>“Oh, are you already a trophy husband?” Eddie replies. “Last I checked you didn’t have a husband, unless you’re keeping him in our basement since I never go down there.”</p><p>Richie has a full-on grin now. “Better go tell Dante to move it or lose it,” he says, leaning in closer to Eddie. “Gotta let him know my little Spaghetti is onto him and will throw his ass out the window if he’s still there when he gets home.”</p><p>Richie kisses him, and Eddie closes his eyes and kisses him back. Richie’s hand is stroking small circles on his cheek, nipping at his lip once before pulling away. “I hope you don’t kiss Dante like that,” Eddie says, a little breathless.</p><p>“Nope,” Richie grins. “Those are reserved for my almost-husband only.”</p><p>Eddie smiles at him. Richie didn’t do much before bringing him into today, only waking up ten minutes before they had to leave. His hair is messy and he’s in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. He looks soft and cuddly and Eddie would probably prefer to just stay at home and snuggle him all day.</p><p>“I’ll miss you,” he says after a few seconds of silence.</p><p>“Not if I miss you more,” Richie replies.</p><p>“That doesn’t even make sense.”</p><p>Richie shrugs and kisses him again before standing upright. “You want me to take you in?”</p><p>“Nah,” Eddie says, looking up at Richie. “Thank you, though. But I think I need to do this myself.”</p><p>Richie nods, and Eddie knows that he gets it. Eddie loves that Richie is there when he needs him to be, but is willing to let him figure things out on his own, too.</p><p>“I’ll be here at four,” Richie says. “Text me if you want me to come get you earlier.”</p><p>“Will do,” Eddie replies. “I love you.”</p><p>“Love you, too, Eds.”</p><p>Richie leans down to give him one last kiss on the cheek before rounding the car and getting back into the driver’s seat. Eddie waves, knowing that Richie will wait until he’s safely in the building before leaving.</p><p>As Eddie rolls into the building, the automatic doors open for him and he rolls inside. Eddie glances once behind him and sees Richie waving at him from the window. He waves back, and Richie pulls away.</p><p>Eddie turns back around and tries not to panic.</p><p>He’s okay. He knows he’s okay. This is a good association who he has technically been working with for a few months already, just from the comfort of his own home. He knows his coworkers and has even met some of them in-person already. He is going to be okay.</p><p>Eddie take a few deep breaths and counts to ten before wheeling towards the office. It’s luckily on the first floor, so he doesn't have to navigate any elevators to get in and out every day.</p><p>Right before he opens the door to the office, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulls it out and smiles when he sees that Richie just sent him a little heart emoji. He is about to reply when another text comes through, this time an eggplant emoji.</p><p><em>Dickhead</em>, Eddie replies. He sends the message while grinning a little before quickly sending off another one. <em>I love you so much. And your eggplant.</em></p><p><em>Did u really just type out eggplant</em>, Richie replies quickly. Eddie smiles and pockets his phone before entering the office.</p><p>Eddie is greeted by the front desk intern. He grins as Eddie rolls into the office, and Eddie gives him a smile and a little wave. “Hey,” he says. “Edward Kaspbrak.”</p><p>The intern is young, Eddie thinks, probably no older than 25. He’s in a wheelchair that looks similar to Eddie’s. “Eddie!” He says with a grin. “It’s Luke. We’ve talked on the phone a lot since you started!”</p><p>“Oh, right,” Eddie replies. “I guess I didn’t know what you looked like.”</p><p>Luke wheels out from behind the desk, waving at Eddie to follow him. “I’ll take you to your office,” Luke says.</p><p>Eddie follows him and looks around. It’s a decent sized office space. There’s a main office area with several filled desks, surrounded by single offices. Eddie knows that he is getting a single office; they had promised him his own space when he agreed, which he is extremely grateful for. Needless to say, it’s been… awhile since Eddie was around this many people at once.</p><p>Once in his office, Eddie situations himself behind his desk and wiggles the mouse to wake up the computer. There’s a nameplate on the desk with his name on it in shiny gold print. Eddie looks at it and smiles, wondering if he’ll have to get a new one after the wedding.</p><p>“Need anything?” Luke asks, startling Eddie out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Not at the moment,” Eddie says.</p><p>“Cool. I’m extension 909 if you need anything!”</p><p>Luke rolls away, and Eddie signs into his work email. For a while he idly goes through all his unread messages, sorting and deleting until his inbox is empty. He has never been able to tolerate unread messages in his inbox, something that Richie always makes fun of him for.</p><p>“Eds, it makes you feel loved,” Richie usually says. “Thinking about how you have 650 unread messages? It makes you feel popular!”</p><p>“It might make you feel loved, but it makes me feel insane.”</p><p>“I make you feel insane.”</p><p>“True. Wonder why I keep you around,” Eddie had replied, and Richie had kissed him.</p><p>Eddie catches himself smiling at his empty inbox, glancing at the time and noting that it’s almost one in the afternoon already. As if on cue, Eddie’s stomach lets out a low rumble. He reaches back for the bag on the back of his chair, grabbing it and beginning to rifle through it for his lunch. He frowns, peering inside of his bag when he can’t find it just by feeling.</p><p>“What the fuck,” he mumbles to himself. He packed himself a sandwich and an apple this morning, but you wouldn’t know it by the complete lack of sandwich and apple in his bag.</p><p>“Fuck me,” he says, reaching for his phone and calling Richie. Eddie perches his phone between his cheek and his shoulder, holding it there as he continues to look in his bag to make sure it’s not hiding underneath anything.</p><p>“Hellooooo Eduardo,” Richie says as he answers the phone, sounding a little breathless. Eddie quirks an eyebrow.</p><p>“What were you doing, running?” Eddie asks. “You sound like you just took a lap.”</p><p>“Ha, no, who do you think I am?” Richie replies. Eddie hears the cat meow in the background. “I just, ah, I ran to get the phone. I didn’t want it to be an emergency that I wasn’t able to answer because I’m slow as fuck.”</p><p>Eddie laughs softly, wishing he could see Richie right now. “Not an emergency,” he replies. “At ease, soldier.”</p><p>Richie laughs. “What’s up?” He says. “Was your morning okay?”</p><p>“It was fine,” Eddie replies, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling. “I know it’s only been a few hours, but I missed you, I think.”</p><p>“You think?” Richie says loudly with a laugh. “Oh, how romantic. My fiancé <em>thinks</em> he misses me. He’s not sure though, it is such a hard feeling to pinpoint, missing somebody, how could anybody really know for <em>sure</em> –”</p><p>“Shut up, dickhead,” Eddie interrupts him. “I don’t miss you; I take it back. I’ve been enjoying my silence.”</p><p>“Well I fucking miss you, Eds. This is way different than when I would leave you here to go to work. I feel abandoned.”</p><p>“You’re not abandoned,” Eddie says. “You’re not a dog.”</p><p>“Details.”</p><p>Eddie hums, listening as Richie starts to talk about the cute thing Dobby did this morning. He missed the sound of Richie’s voice, and he misses Richie being physically within reaching distance with just a single shout. He is so busy lapping up Richie’s voice and thinking about him that he completely forgets why he actually called Richie.</p><p>“Oh,” Eddie says, interrupting Richie mid-sentence. “I forgot my lunch.”</p><p>“Ah, that’s why you called me,” Richie says. “You just need me for my lunch-delivery services.”</p><p>“You caught me,” Eddie replies. “Otherwise you’re expendable.”</p><p>Richie laughs and Eddie shakes his head. “I’ll be there in ten,” Richie says. “You better have a big ol’ smooch ready for me.”</p><p>“Always.”</p>
<hr/><p>Richie saunters into the office, and Eddie hears him before he sees him.</p><p>“Hey,” he hears Richie say, presumably to Luke. Eddie tries to peer out of his narrow office window, but he can only seek Luke looking up at who he guesses is Richie.</p><p>“I’m Richie, here for Eddie?” Richie says. “He forgot his lunch like the sophisticated man he is.”</p><p>“Right through there,” Luke says, presumably pointing in the direction of Eddie’s office.</p><p>“Thanks, man,” Richie says and before Eddie can think about it, he is standing in the office doorway grinning at Eddie.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie says, feeling himself breakout into a smile. He feels so silly. He is 43 years old, for fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t feel butterflies just from seeing Richie for the first time in . . . he pauses to count, sighing when he comes to the answer. For the first time in five hours. Embarrassing.</p><p>“My Spaghetti,” Richie says softly, quickly coming around the side of Eddie’s desk. Eddie turns so that he’s facing to the side, smiling as Richie crouches down so that he’s eye level with Eddie. “I missed you so much. All I could think about was you here and the building collapsing.”</p><p>“I – what?” Eddie says with a laugh. He reaches out and grabs one of Richie’s hands in both of his. “Rich…”</p><p>“I’m just worried,” Richie says, looking down at their hands. “I don’t want anything else to happen to you.”</p><p>“Sweetheart,” Eddie says softly.</p><p>Richie closes his eyes and brings Eddie’s hand up to his mouth, pressing a small kiss to it and holding it there, closing his eyes briefly. Eddie can’t even imagine what goes through Richie’s head on the daily. Richie, who thought he was dead and still carried him out of the house. Richie, who sat by his bedside and waited for him to wake up from his surgery, who held his hand and helped him while in rehab and bought them a <em>house</em> before they were even dating, who goes to therapy with him and cooks for him and helps Eddie when he wants help, who makes Eddie feel whole without even trying.</p><p>Richie, who loves him and doesn’t want to lose him, who thought he lost him once and can’t fathom the thought of losing him again.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie whispers, taking his free hand and stroking Richie’s cheek. “Look at me.”</p><p>Richie looks up at Eddie, his eyes glistening a little bit.</p><p>“I love you,” Eddie says. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I’m scared being here too, Rich. I’m not – I’m not really used to being out of the house or around other people. Not since I’ve been like . . . this.”</p><p>Richie nods and presses another kiss to Eddie’s hand before setting it back down. “Like we said,” Richie says, his voice cracking a little bit. “Today is probably just going to suck for both of us.”</p><p>Richie leans in and kisses him, his hand coming up to cup Eddie’s cheek. Once he pulls back, he stands up and grabs the bag he set on the desk. “Your gourmet lunch,” Richie says, handing the bag to Eddie.</p><p>Eddie takes it and bites his lip. “Um,” he says after a second. “I might want to just go home.”</p><p>He feels – he’s not sure how he feels, actually. He feels like an open wire, frayed and sparking with anxious energy. His brain keeps thinking about Richie sitting at home worrying about him, and it hits him hard that he’s <em>tired.</em> Exhausted, even. He’s been out of the house longer than he has since the “accident,” he’s talked to and seen more people than he has since before he left for Derry all those years ago. He, truthfully, usually would have taken a brief nap by now if it was a normal day spent at home.</p><p>He doesn’t know why it didn’t occur to him that going directly from working-at-home to full eight-hour days would be a huge adjustment for him. It was something he did so normally before. Eight-hour shifts were nothing to him before, as he would often stay later to get overtime, so it had made sense that he would just be able to do a full day.</p><p>He sometimes forgets that things aren’t the same as they were before.</p><p>“Of course, Eds,” Richie says softly. “Whatever you want.”</p><p>Eddie nods and grabs the phone from the desk, dialing Luke’s extension.</p><p>“Luke,” he hears through the phone.</p><p>“Hey, it’s Eddie. Do you think it would be fine if I finished my work from home?”</p><p>“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Luke says quickly. “Let me just clear it with Melissa.”</p><p>Melissa is Eddie’s boss and the head of this branch of the United Spinal Association. She is a tall and empowering woman who has been nothing but nice and understanding of Eddie’s situation.</p><p>Luke puts Eddie on hold while he calls Melissa. Eddie takes a deep breath and looks at Richie, who is now watching him closely. Eddie wonders if he can tell how frayed Eddie feels, how quickly he went from zero to one hundred as soon as he realized how tired he was.</p><p>“She says it’s not a problem and to take the rest of the day and tomorrow off, and to work from home on Wednesday,” Luke says when he comes back on the line. “She apparently tried to tell you this was too much too soon?”</p><p>“She did,” Eddie replies dryly. “I’m stubborn.”</p><p>“You don’t say.”</p><p>“Thanks, Luke,” Eddie replies. “See you on Thursday.”</p><p>“See you then. Have a good afternoon.”</p><p>Eddie hangs up the phone, reaching for his jacket off to the side of his desk. “Let’s go.”</p><p>Eddie wheels himself out from behind the desk, Richie standing up from where he had been casually leaning against it. Eddie looks at Richie, really looks at him now, taking in his appearance. He’s changed into jeans and a t-shirt for some random band with a flannel over it. Eddie sighs. He just looks so good all the time.</p><p>“Let me,” Richie says softly, coming up behind him and grabbing his wheelchair handles. “You seem tired. Give your arms a rest.”</p><p>Eddie nods and slumps in his chair a little bit, relaxing for the first time since he was dropped off this morning. They both wave to Luke as they pass him, Richie exchanging a small pleasantry with him before wheeling Eddie out of the office and into the parking lot. Eddie does a quick transfer into the car before completely slumping against the window, closing his eyes for a second.</p><p>“Eds?” Richie says softly from Eddie’s left. Eddie pries his eyes open and looks at him. “You okay?”</p><p>Eddie nods. “Just hit me how tired I was,” Eddie mumbles. “Like all my energy was spent just being out of the house and doing a few hours of work. Didn’t really catch up to me until you got there, though.”</p><p>Richie nods and pulls the car out of the parking lot. “Let’s get a pizza on the way home and then we can eat and take a nap,” Richie says. “I could use one, too.”</p><p>Eddie nods, thinking about how they were both up multiple times last night, twitching and turning with anxiety for the day to come.</p><p>“Sounds perfect.”</p><p>They drive home in silence once Richie orders the pizza. He runs into the restaurant to pick it up, driving the rest of the way home and wheeling Eddie into the house with the pizza in his lap.</p><p>“This smells divine,” Eddie says, perking up a little as his stomach lets out a rumble. “I actually am starving.”</p><p>They eat at the table, Richie sitting to Eddie’s right instead of across from him like he usually does. He occasionally reaches over and touches Eddie’s arm with his clean hand, rubbing small circles into his skin or just resting his hand there.</p><p>Once they’re finished, Richie quickly cleans up their plates before turning and smiling at Eddie. Eddie is already feeling himself doze off in his chair. His eyelids feel heavy, and he feels his chin trying to drop down to his chest.</p><p>“C’mon, killer,” Richie says softly, coming over towards Eddie and starting to wheel him towards the bedroom. “Time to put you down for a nap.”</p><p>Eddie would normally protest, saying something about how he is not being put down for a nap, he <em>refuses</em>, something in him hating being told to do something he was going to do anyway, but he just can’t right now. A nap sounds way too good to even be joking about protesting.</p><p>Eddie easily transfers to the bed, lifting his shirt over his head and tossing it to the side. “Help me with my pants?” He mumbles at Richie.</p><p>“That is the sexiest thing you have ever said to me,” Richie says with a small grin, helping him to take his pants off. “You know I can never say no to getting you naked, Eds.”</p><p>“Not naked,” Eddie says with a yawn, hooking his arm under his legs to bring them up onto the bed. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he lets out a sigh and closes his eyes.</p><p>“C’mere,” he mumbles to Richie, holding his arm out. He feels Richie crawl into bed next to him after a second, the soft feeling of his arm wrapping around him and his leg twining between his. He shucked his jeans somewhere along the way, his legs scratching slightly against Eddie’s own. Richie presses a small kiss to the side of Eddie’s neck, drawing him closer.</p><p>“Sleep, Spaghetti Man,” Richie says quietly as Eddie’s breathing even out. “You’ve earned it.”</p>
<hr/><p>Eddie wakes up and blinks at the ceiling. It’s darker in the room now, an orange glow setting through the window.</p><p>“Ugh,” he groans, wiping his eyes with his hand and propping himself up on his elbows. He looks around, noting the empty bed next to him.</p><p>“Richie!” He yells as he sits up, yawning and watching as Richie comes running into the bedroom, sliding as he turns the corner and almost falling. “Careful,” Eddie says.</p><p>“Hey,” Richie replies. “You feeling better?”</p><p>Eddie nods. “Time is it?”</p><p>“Seven,” Richie says. “I made dinner.”</p><p>“You are god-sent.”</p><p>Richie nods and comes towards the bed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Eddie’s lips. “I also have a surprise?”</p><p>“Another one?” Eddie sighs, motioning for Richie to pick his white t-shirt up off the floor and hand it to him. “Wasn’t the cat enough?”</p><p>Eddie pulls his shirt on over his head before transferring into his chair.</p><p>“It’s not that kind of surprise,” Richie smiles at him softly. “You might actually like this one.”</p><p>“Might is the keyword in that sentence.”</p><p>“You are kind of unpredictable sometimes, Eds, I can’t be sure about anything.”</p><p>Eddie follows Richie into the kitchen, letting himself watch his ass as he goes. Sometimes, he thinks, being in a wheelchair has its advantages. Being able to stare directly at Richie’s ass while behind him is definitely one of them.</p><p>“I can feel you checking out my goods,” Richie says, glancing over his shoulder at Eddie.</p><p>“What’s yours is mine,” Eddie replies quickly.</p><p>“Not yet. This ass is not legally yours until August.”</p><p>Eddie hums. “I can’t wait to marry you and your ass.”</p><p>“It’s America’s Ass, baby,” Richie says with a grin.</p><p>“Okay, Captain America,” Eddie huffs. “Show me this surprise and then feed me dinner.”</p><p>Richie enters the kitchen, waving his arms at the counter. “Ta-da!”</p><p>On the counter sit a bunch of cupcakes with different colored frosting and different cake bottoms. There are two forks and a notebook on the counter next to them.</p><p>“Uh,” Eddie replies. “Did you make these?”</p><p>“Eddie baby, you know I can’t bake,” Richie says. “We’re just doing our cake taste testing from home.”</p><p>Eddie blinks, staring at the cupcakes and thinking about the date. They were supposed to do their cake testing in early January, which isn’t – Eddie shakes his head. Which is now.</p><p>“Fuck,” Eddie says, eyes growing wide. “Were we supposed to go tonight?”</p><p>Richie nods. “No worries, babe. They just packed up everything we were going to try, and I went and picked it up. They said just to fill out the order form and bring it back tomorrow and everything would be good.”</p><p>Eddie loves Richie. Loves him with a capital L, signed, sealed, and delivered. He glances over at the stove to see that Richie also made some kind of soup for dinner.</p><p>“What did I fucking do to deserve you?” Eddie huffs as Richie goes to spoon a bowl of soup for Eddie. “Seriously. I’m an asshole. In what world do I deserve you?”</p><p>“In this world,” Richie replies, setting the bowl on the table for Eddie. “No take-backs.”</p><p>As they finish their soup, Eddie thinks. Everything in their lives were working against this – Eddie almost died being the biggest one, but even after he didn’t die, he was still married with a former life. If he hadn’t been attacked by the dumb fucking clown, who knows where he would have ended up?</p><p>Well, he knows he would probably still have two working legs, but he knows he isn’t supposed to think like that. He could have had the same result and not had Richie, and he doesn’t know how he would have handled that.</p><p>He can’t imagine what would have happened if he had gone back to Myra after he was released from the hospital. If they had called Myra like the physicians had wanted to, if he hadn’t finally had enough and filed for divorce. He would have gone back home with her, and she would have doted on him and done everything possible for him until her dying day. He wouldn’t have even been able to handle her hysterics in the hospital, let alone once she had him alone in their house and realized he was even more useless than he was before. He would have spent the rest of his life miserable, but this time he would have <em>known</em> that he was miserable.</p><p>“Earth to Spaghetti,” Richie’s voice comes through, breaking Eddie from his thoughts.</p><p>“Sorry,” Eddie replies, looking down at his soup bowl and realizing that it’s empty. “Lost in my thoughts.”</p><p>“Those must have been some sexy thoughts,” Richie replies as he grabs their dishes and takes them to the sink.</p><p>“Not really. I was thinking about what would have happened if they had called Myra in the hospital.”</p><p>Richie sets the dishes in the dishwasher and turns around, looking at Eddie. Eddie rolls out from behind the table and waves him over, patting his lap. Richie huffs but comes over to him anyway. Eddie lifts up the arm rests to give Richie a little more room before holding his arms out for him.</p><p>“You know this doesn’t really work,” Richie says, looking at Eddie with his arms wide open, waiting for Richie. “I’m just too . . . big.”</p><p>“You are not, asshole,” Eddie huffs. “This chair can handle our combined weight and there’s no more width constraints when I get rid of the armrests.”</p><p>“Oh, I see, I’m <em>wide</em> now,” Richie replies with a grin before sitting gently on Eddie’s lap. Eddie wraps his arms around Richie’s torso and buries his face in his back, inhaling him in.</p><p>He can’t imagine not having this, living the rest of his life without any physical affection. He loves to love Richie and he loves when Richie loves him. He never realized he actually <em>liked</em> to touch and be touched until he was with Richie. Even as friends, it seemed like they were always trying to touch and hug one another, which – well, now when Eddie thinks about it, that may have just been because they were both in love with each other.</p><p>“M’so happy I have you,” Eddie mumbles, his voice muffled by Richie’s back. “Just, love you so much.”</p><p>Richie hums, his hand stroking the back of Eddie’s where it rests against his belly. They sit in silence with Eddie clinging to Richie for a while, watching as Dobby chases a fly around the kitchen.</p><p>He doesn’t want to think about who he would be if he just went back to his previous life. Even if he wasn’t injured and somehow had no injuries from being stabbed by a clown . . . Who would he be without the love of Richie Tozier? Without the love of the Losers? Would he still be a risk analyst? Would he still be in a loveless marriage to a woman he didn’t even really like?</p><p>He gives Richie a squeeze. “Cake now,” he mumbles into the back of Richie’s shoulder.</p><p>Richie hums and unclasps Eddie’s hands from around him before standing up. “Your wish is my command.”</p><p>They eat the cakes, taking notes of their favorite cakes and frostings. Richie likes anything chocolate, and Eddie is partial to the raspberry cream frosting, but neither of them like the two combined.</p><p>In the end, they decide on a marble cake with buttercream frosting and a layer of fresh strawberries in the middle.</p><p>“For health and wellness!” Richie declares as they check the strawberry option on the order form.</p><p>Eddie shakes his head. “Come here,” he says, waving Richie over. He licks his thumb and wipes a smear of frosting off of Richie’s cheek before licking it off of his thumb. “There. All pretty again.”</p><p>“Aw, shucks,” Richie says. “You think I’m pretty, Mr. Kaspbrak?”</p><p>“Put the southern belle away and take me to bed,” Eddie says with a huff. “I’m still tired.”</p><p>Before Eddie can say anything else, Richie crosses the room quickly, leaning down to kiss him. Eddie moans in surprise before immediately opening his mouth for Richie. The kiss becomes a little dirty and heated, Richie’s hand cupping the side of Eddie’s face while Eddie’s arms snake across to Richie’s backside, resting right on his ass.</p><p>Richie pulls away, their lips making a small pop as they separate. Richie’s eyes are big and blown, his lips slightly parted and a little swollen.</p><p>“Bed it is,” Richie says, his voice a little hoarse. Eddie kisses him one more time before smiling and wheeling towards the bedroom.</p>
<hr/><p>“Eddie,” Morgan says at the start of his physical therapy appointment the next day. “Today is the day.”</p><p>“Oh god,” Eddie says with a groan. “What is it now?</p><p>Richie had to work today, so he dropped Eddie off with a kiss and a promise to pick him up on time before returning to work.</p><p>“Today,” Morgan says dramatically as she strikes a perfect pose, “We dance.”</p><p>Eddie blinks. He knew this was coming, it was pretty much the whole goal of therapy now. But it was only January; he hadn’t really expected this so soon.</p><p>“In the harness, of course,” Morgan says immediately. She must see the brief look of panic that crosses Eddie’s face. “And I have my assistant with me today since Big Rich was unable to join us.”</p><p>Eddie just nods, watching as Morgan goes to grab the harness and his braces. She helps him into them, hooking the harness to the ceiling. She grabs her phone and pulls the song up on it. Eddie glances at it and looks at the song just sitting there, waiting for Morgan to press play. That’s his song, <em>their</em> song, the song they will first dance to as husbands. <em>Dance</em>, literally, with Eddie on his feet even if just for half the song.</p><p>“Okay,” Morgan says. She grabs her assistant and drags her over towards them. “Here’s the amazing choreography I came up with. I feel like I could win awards for this masterpiece.”</p><p>Eddie watches as Morgan instructs the assistant to play as Richie (which is quite comical, as she is a 5’5” woman with a trim, athletic figure and long blonde hair). She takes them through a series of steps and sways in time with the music.</p><p>“Now, I obviously am not fishing for an invite,” Morgan says once she finishes demonstrating the dance. “But I do think this would be easier if I was present to help you with your braces and to help get you into standing if you need it. And – not that anything is going to happen! – but if something <em>were</em> to happen, it would probably be better if I was there.”</p><p>“Morgan, you were getting an invite whether you wanted one or not,” Eddie says with a huff. “I haven’t spent this much time with anybody but Richie since the accident. You’re honestly probably one of my best friends at this point.”</p><p>Morgan smiles at him, and Eddie thinks she might be about to get a little teary-eyed. She quickly turns away and gets her phone ready again. “Ready?”</p><p>Eddie nods and before he knows it, Morgan and her assistant are helping Eddie to stand. Eddie grips the arms of the assistant – whose name he should really ask, at this point – clinging to her as he manages to lock his braces out on his own.</p><p>“Atta boy,” Morgan says from his side. “Now, take a step to the left.”</p><p>They’ve practiced this, taking a single sidestep. It’s difficult to do when he has no movement in his legs. It’s all trunk and core and momentum, and it is <em>exhausting</em>. But he does it, successfully taking a step to the left with his left foot, followed by his right.</p><p>“What’s your name?” He asks the assistant, more for a distraction than anything else. He knows he’s hooked to the ceiling and that he has no chance of falling, but it still helps if he isn’t constantly thinking about how he is five seconds away from falling.</p><p>“Nina,” she says with a smile. “You’re doing great.”</p><p>“Now, a step back!” Morgan says, holding onto his waist to keep him steady. “This is a hard one for you.”</p><p>Eddie nods and concentrates. It takes him a couple seconds, but he is eventually able to step backwards.</p><p>“That was great!” Morgan says. “How do you feel?”</p><p>“Exhausted,” Eddie replies. “Think I could do one more before needing a break.”</p><p>Morgan nods. “To the right, to the right, to the right,” she sings to the tune of <em>Cupid Shuffle</em>. “Damn,” she says after a moment. “That should’ve been your wedding song. It would’ve been so much easier to choreograph.”</p><p>Eddie snorts and focuses on taking a step to the right. “Okay,” he says. “I need to sit.”</p><p>Morgan nods and drags his wheelchair over, placing it behind him before unlocking his braces and lowering him down. “Hey,” she says, crouching down so she can look at him. “That was really great.”</p><p>Eddie nods, reaching for his water and taking a sip. “I know I say this every time, but it just feels like something so easy shouldn’t be so hard.”</p><p>“And as I tell you every time,” Morgan says softly. “It’s all subjective. Your body went through a trauma and you have spinal cord damage, Eddie. You could bench two times my body weight, but it’s harder for you to walk. Whereas I can lift a soup can and feel fatigued, but I can walk for hours. It just depends on the person.”</p><p>“Oh, please,” Eddie says with a huff. “You act like you aren’t ripped.”</p><p>Morgan grins and shrugs. “Maybe I just like compliments. But it’s not my fault your biceps are the size of my head.”</p><p>At the end of the session, Richie struts into the clinic with a grin. “There’s my man,” he grins as he comes over. “Looking sweaty today, Eds.”</p><p>“I feel gross,” Eddie replies, wiping his forehead off with a towel.</p><p>“We worked him hard today,” Morgan tells Richie as Eddie gets back into his chair. “He might need a nap.”</p><p>“I’m not a child,” Eddie says with a huff, rolling his eyes. “I don’t need naps. I just want them.”</p><p>“Hey, no judgment here, man,” Richie says. “I take naps after being awake for only two hours if I can. Two hours awake, two asleep. The perfect ratio.”</p><p>Morgan laughs and waves at them as they leave. When they get to the car, Richie rolls Eddie up to the passenger side, leaning down to give him a small kiss. “You okay?” He asks once he pulls away, looking at Eddie.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie replies. “Really good, actually. I am tired though. Feels like all I am is tired lately.”</p><p>“You’re doing a lot more than you’re used to,” Richie says once Eddie is in the car. He folds his wheelchair up and puts it in the trunk. “I think it’s understandable.”</p><p>“You better be ready to cuddle the shit out of me during our nap again,” Eddie says once Richie is back in the car.</p><p>“For you? Always. And then I’ll make some eggplant parmesan for dinner.”</p><p>Eddie hums and leans back as he drives away. He glances over at Richie, smiling gently at him as he watches him drive. Richie drives with one hand usually, his other hand either resting on his lap, or the back of Eddie’s seat, or holding Eddie’s hand. Which, now that Eddie thinks about it, is a really good idea.</p><p>Eddie reaches over and takes Richie’s hand, squeezing it once. “It’s going to happen,” Eddie says quietly. “Our dance. I can feel it.”</p><p>Richie glances over at him and smiles. “If anybody can do it, it’s you,” he says. “You’re a stubborn little fucker.”</p><p>Eddie laughs and lets out a snort. “You love it.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>Eddie smiles, thinking about those words and picturing Richie saying them as he slides a ring onto Eddie’s finger.</p><p>“I do, too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Have I actually picked out a wedding song yet? No. I have a few strong contenders but I am taking suggestions, so throw 'em at me.</p><p>You can find me @edskasper on twitter if you want to come chat :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. my person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Just a hard day,” Eddie mumbles into Richie’s chest. “Hard week. Just wanted to cuddle all night.”</p><p>He feels Richie swallow and take a deep breath. “We’ll cuddle all day tomorrow,” he whispers. “No phones, no laptops, no work or wedding planning. Just you and me.”<br/>--<br/>Eddie is stressed, Richie loves him, and Bev has a surprise planned for them.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The first bit of this is a little sad, but it gets better :) It's just Eddie thinking too much.</p><p>cw: brief mentions of alcohol consumption in this chapter, but nothing dramatic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">June 2019</span>
</p><p>Eddie isn’t stressed. He’s not. What is there to be stressed about? He’s getting married in just over a month, they still haven’t picked out their tuxedos. His list goes on.</p><p>The most pressing of matters is that they still haven’t decided on their wedding party. Not that there were any question as to who would be in it, obviously all of the Losers will be part of the party, it’s now just a matter of who is sitting on which side during the ceremony and reception. They’ve been avoiding this and every time it’s brought up, Eddie stresses that it is vitally important they not mess it up.</p><p>And on top of that, they also still need to decide on their name. They can’t seem to agree on what to do once they’re married. Hyphenate? Richie insists on taking Eddie’s name if they don’t hyphenate; Eddie insists on taking Richie’s.</p><p>Basically, they have some decisions to make, but Eddie is not stressed. At least that’s what he keeps telling everyone who asks why he looks stressed.</p><p>Eddie lets out a breath and looks up towards the ceiling, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Okay, so he’s stressed. It’s been a hell of a long week between work, wedding planning, and physical therapy. He has never been more thankful for it to be Friday. All he wants to do is cuddle up with Richie on the couch and watch movies for the rest of the night.</p><p>Eddie takes a deep breath and wheels himself into the kitchen to start dinner. He thinks he’ll treat Richie tonight by making his favorite beef stroganoff. Paired with a nice glass of wine and Eddie thinks it will be the perfect start to a nice and cuddly Friday night.</p><p>Eddie hums as he starts to gather the ingredients, placing the pan on the stove and starting to cook. He’s made this dish more than most dishes at this point, he thinks. It’s Richie’s comfort dish when he’s upset, but it’s also his favorite dish that he craves fairly often. He makes it just as well as Eddie does, so if he’s craving it, Richie will usually just whip it up himself.</p><p>As he’s waiting for the beef to brown, Eddie feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He smiles when he sees it’s Richie.</p><p>“Hey,” Eddie says, trapping his phone between his cheek and his shoulder. “I was just thinking about you.”</p><p>“I’m always thinking about you, Eds,” Richie says.</p><p>“Are you almost home?” Eddie replies, stirring the beef. “Dinner is almost ready.”</p><p>“Oh, right, yeah, that’s why I called,” Richie says. “Some of the guys wanted to go out for drinks tonight. I won’t be out late, but I just wanted to let you know.”</p><p>Eddie blinks. Richie goes out for drinks with his coworkers a few times a month. This isn’t anything unusual; he knows Richie likes his coworkers and that he likes spending time with them. Eddie likes that Richie has things outside of him and work to do.</p><p>But he’s making Richie’s favorite dinner. He has a bottle of wine and two glasses out and ready, and Netflix is cued up and waiting for them.</p><p>He won’t cry. It’s a dumb thing to cry over, really. Richie can have a life and do what he wants, he doesn’t need to be with Eddie twenty-four-seven. It’s been awhile since he’s been out with the guys anyway.</p><p>“Sure,” Eddie says, his voice soft. “I’ll just, I’ll keep the leftovers for you tomorrow.”</p><p>Before Richie can reply, Eddie hears someone in the background. He can’t make out who it is, but he can hear the end of whatever they’re saying to Richie. “ . . .clear it with your ball and chain yet, Rich?”</p><p>“Not cool, man,” Richie says, his voice a little muffled, presumably talking to whoever just spoke with his hand over the speaker of his phone. “Sorry, someone was talking,” Richie says, his voice back to normal again. He doesn’t mention it, and Eddie guesses he must think Eddie couldn’t hear the man. “But yeah, I shouldn’t be home any later than ten.”</p><p>“That’s fine, Rich,” Eddie says softly. “I’ll see you then.”</p><p>“Love you,” Richie replies.</p><p>“Love you, too.”</p><p>Eddie hangs up his phone and frowns at it. Well, there goes his perfect Friday night. He feels like he can’t be mad or upset at Richie for going out with his coworkers. He just can’t and that wouldn’t be fair.</p><p>Eddie sighs and finishes cooking. He serves himself a plate and sets it on his lap before wheeling himself to the living room. He eats in his wheelchair while Netflix plays, his phone set face down on the coffee table in front of him so that he won’t see it not lighting up with no new texts or calls.</p><p>Is he a ball and chain? He keeps hearing the man’s voice over and over. “Clear it with your ball and chain?” Does he hold Richie back from what he wants to be doing? Eddie huffs and takes his empty plate to the sink, beginning to wash the dishes by hand. He’s not a ball and chain. He knows he’s not. Eddie might be slightly more co-dependent than a spouse without a significant physical disability, but he really tries not to hold Richie back from anything. Richie is allowed to have a life and friends outside of Eddie.</p><p>But. Who does Eddie have outside of Richie?</p><p>Richie invited him out for drinks with his coworkers once. It was a while back, not long after he had been discharged from the hospital and Richie had returned to working part-time. Eddie had said no, simply because he wasn’t feeling up for it and wasn’t really ready to face the public yet.</p><p>But Richie hasn’t asked him since.</p><p>Is Richie embarrassed of him? Does he not want his coworkers to see Eddie like this? Some of them are coming to the wedding, they’ll have to see him eventually. Eddie didn’t <em>think</em> Richie was embarrassed of him. He’ll proudly wheel Eddie down the street towards their favorite coffee shop on sunny days. He’ll sit next to Eddie on the beach and in the park, laughing loudly at something Eddie says and drawing eyes towards them for reasons outside of Eddie’s wheelchair. People just look at them; they look because of the wheelchair, they look because they both are <em>loud </em>and they argue a lot<em>,</em> or it’ll be someone who recognizes Richie. They are truly never really unnoticed when they’re in public.</p><p>He’s just upset. He wanted a nice night in with Richie that didn’t happen, so now he’s just cranky.</p><p>But does Richie really want to be tied down to this for the rest of his life? He is constantly worrying about Eddie, checking on him throughout the day to make sure he is okay. Does Richie really deserve to be worried about Eddie for the rest of his life?</p><p>They’ll never get to go on hikes or any great expedition vacations. Eddie hates airplanes even more now than he did before, so big, out-of-state or out-of-country vacations will probably be few and far between. Is this really the life Richie wants to be living?</p><p>Eddie drops a glass with a loud crash as it falls into the sink and breaks into pieces. At least it didn’t fall on the floor, because he actually would not have been able to clean that up. With a sigh, Eddie starts to gather the pieces up from within the sink. He just wants to finish cleaning and go to bed so that this shitty week can officially be over.</p><p>“Fuck,” he says as the palm of his hand slices against a sharp edge of the glass. “Oh, shit.”</p><p>He runs his hand under cold water, looking away so that he doesn’t have to watch the water turn light pink as it runs over his hand. “Damn it,” he mutters, grabbing a dark colored towel and wrapping it tightly along his palm. He opens the cabinet just below the sink, thanking whoever it was that had the foresight to keep their first aid kit in the kitchen.</p><p>He sniffs a little, blinking quickly as he cleans and bandages the cut. Now he really just wants to cuddle Richie and go to bed. He thinks about calling him, but he doesn’t want to make him come home from his night out with friends just because Eddie got a cut.</p><p>Eddie sniffs again and glances at the clock. 10 PM. He can go to bed without it seeming too early now.</p><p>Eddie rolls into the bedroom and transfers onto the bed, pulling his shirt off over his head and shimmying out of his pants before tossing them to the side. He doesn’t want to deal with pajamas tonight. Eddie lifts his legs onto the bed and lays down, sighing as his head hits the pillow. He reaches and turns the light off, curling on his side and hoping that sleep will come quickly.</p><p>
  <em>Ball and chain, ball and chain, ball and chain</em>
</p><p>The words run laps in Eddie’s head, chanting over and over as he tries to calm his mind and fall asleep. Eddie sniffs and quickly wipes at his eyes. It’s so dumb to cry over this, he knows it is, and he knows it isn’t fair for him to feel like this.</p><p>Richie loves him. He knows this, he <em>feels</em> this. Every time Richie looks at him and touches him, Eddie can just feel how much Richie loves him.</p><p>But is love enough? Is it enough to keep Richie here? To make him feel that putting up with him is worth it?</p><p>Eddie sniffs again, so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the door open, doesn’t hear the sound of footsteps walking towards their bedroom until Richie is standing in the doorway.</p><p>“Eds?” Richie’s whisper sounds through the room. “You awake?”</p><p>Eddie doesn’t respond. He lets out another sniff and brings his pillow closer to him. He hears Richie take his clothes off, and he feels him slide in bed behind him, his arm snaking around Eddie’s waist and pulling him closer. Eddie lets him; he wants to be held by Richie. He always wants to be held by Richie.</p><p>Richie presses a kiss to the side of Eddie’s neck. “I know you’re awake,” he mumbles into Eddie’s skin.</p><p>Eddie takes his hands and rests them on top of Richie’s that’s resting on his stomach. He feels Richie frown against his neck before he leans over to look at Eddie’s hand.</p><p>“Oh shit, Eds,” Richie says, grabbing Eddie’s hand and holding it up to look at it. “What happened?”</p><p>“Cut it on a glass while cleaning dinner,” Eddie whispers. “It’s fine.”</p><p>Richie watches him for a moment before giving Eddie his hand back, resting his head on the pillow behind Eddie. Richie probably knows something is wrong. He can pick up on Eddie’s moods better than anybody.</p><p>“Did you make beef stroganoff for dinner?” Richie says softly after a few moments of silence. “It still kind of smelled like it.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie replies quietly. “Was going to surprise you.”</p><p>“Shit, Eds,” Richie says, propping up on his elbow so he can peer over Eddie’s shoulder to look at Eddie’s face. “You should have told me. I would have much rather come home.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine,” Eddie says. “I don't want to be a ball and chain. You can have a life outside of me.”</p><p>Eddie feels Richie freeze at his words. “Did you hear Brad say that?” Richie asks after a second.</p><p>Eddie nods before taking a deep breath. “Am I?”</p><p>“Are you what?”</p><p>“A ball and chain.”</p><p>“Fuck, Eds, of course not,” Richie says. He sits up, shaking Eddie’s shoulder a little. “Can you turn and look at me?”</p><p>Eddie turns over, looking up at Richie.</p><p>“Eddie baby, you can’t listen to what he said,” Richie says, taking both of Eddie’s hands in his own. “You just – you’re not. I don’t know how else to tell you that you are absolutely not a ball and chain to me.”</p><p>“But I am holding you back,” Eddie says quickly.</p><p>“From what? Eddie, my life is just. It was shit before you. I don’t think I was ever actually one hundred percent happy before. I was just . . . living.”</p><p>Eddie blinks and stares at their hands. “But there’s so many things we won’t be able to do because I’m like this,” Eddie says, waving his hand at his legs. “We can’t go on many big vacations, we can’t go hiking, some places are off-limits because they’re too narrow and my chair won’t fit –”</p><p>“Okay, one,” Richie says, cutting Eddie off. “Do I look like someone who wants to go hiking? I have never hiked a day in my life, Eds.”</p><p>Richie brings Eddie’s hand with the bandage on it up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to his palm right above the bandaged wound. “Two,” he continues. “I don’t. Eddie. I don’t know how else to say this. But I don’t want to do anything if you aren’t involved. Nothing is as important to me as you. You just make everything <em>better.</em>”</p><p>“This is forever, Rich,” Eddie says quietly. “This isn’t just temporary. You are going to be stuck with me like this forever.”</p><p>“Stuck with you?” Richie says with a scoff. “Eds, I feel so fucking lucky to have even landed you. I feel like half the time I’m wondering if I’m still dreaming, if I may have actually died back in Derry and have just been living in the afterlife with you this whole time. I don’t feel stuck with you, baby. I feel honored to be with you.”</p><p>Eddie sniffs and feels his eyes getting a little watery.</p><p>“Baby,” Richie says. He lays back down, facing Eddie this time. He wraps his arm around Eddie’s waist and tugs him closer, bringing his hand up to stroke the tears off Eddie’s cheek. “I know you’ve been stressed,” he says. “You should have – Eddie, if you ever need me, please just tell me. Don’t give up your own needs for me.”</p><p>“But you’ve already given up so much for me.”</p><p>“Because you’re important to me,” Richie says immediately. “Are you saying you wouldn’t do the same if our roles were switched?”</p><p>Eddie shakes his head. He knows he would; he would do anything for Richie.</p><p>“Exactly. I just – you’ve been through so much, Eds. And you are so strong and have come so far. I just want to be here for you. Sometimes it feels like that’s all I can do.”</p><p>Eddie sniffs again, tugging at Richie’s arm so that he comes even closer. Richie wraps both arms around him and pulls him tight against him, hugging him to his body. “I love you so fucking much, Spaghetti,” Richie whispers into Eddie’s hair. “I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling like this all night.”</p><p>“Just a hard day,” Eddie mumbles into Richie’s chest. “Hard week. Just wanted to cuddle all night.”</p><p>He feels Richie swallow and take a deep breath. “We’ll cuddle all day tomorrow,” he whispers. “No phones, no laptops, no work or wedding planning. Just you and me.”</p><p>Eddie nods into Richie’s chest, feeling Richie’s arms tighten around him.  “Hey,” Richie says after a few moments. “Some of my coworkers were asking about you tonight. Well, they ask about you all the time, but they specifically were asking to see if you’d want to come out with us sometime.”</p><p>“Would you want me to?” Eddie asks, looking up at Richie.</p><p>“Of course,” Richie replies instantly. “But I know public places aren’t always your jam, especially more crowded ones. So I didn’t want to push it and make you feel like you had to come, but they said that next time, we could go somewhere quieter if you wanted to.”</p><p>Eddie smiles a little and nods. “I think I would like that.”</p><p>Richie grins and leans in to kiss him. Eddie’s hands rest on Richie’s chest as he kisses back, one of Richie’s hands coming up to tangle in Eddie’s hair. Richie nips gently at Eddie’s lip before pulling back a little and smiling at Eddie.</p><p>“You look exhausted,” Richie says, his thumb stroking over the scar that is just barely visible on Eddie’s cheek.</p><p>Eddie nods. “Like I said. Long week.”</p><p>Richie kisses him again before resting his head back on the pillow, his hand rubbing at Eddie’s hip. “Sleep,” he whispers. “You need your energy for our day of cuddling tomorrow. I’m gonna snuggle the shit out of you.”</p><p>Eddie smiles and presses another kiss to Richie’s lips, letting his eyes drift shut as Richie kisses him back.</p><hr/><p>True to Richie’s word, they don’t do anything but cuddle and lounge around all Saturday. Eddie clings to Richie to prevent him from getting out of bed, only releasing his grip when Richie says he’ll make waffles if Eddie releases him. They eat breakfast in bed, which ends with Richie licking a spot of syrup off of Eddie’s check before moving from his mouth to his neck.</p><p>It’s a good morning.</p><p>In the evening, after a nice lunch and a day full of kissing and movies and naps, Eddie is spread out on the couch with Richie fully on top of him. The lasagna is in the oven, Eddie’s hands are on Richie’s ass, and one of Richie’s hands is cupping Eddie’s face as he licks his way into Eddie’s mouth again.</p><p>“Mm,” Eddie moans against him, bringing Richie’s hips closer to his own. Richie moves his mouth down Eddie’s neck, pressing sloppy, wet kisses and bites until Eddie is moaning beneath him.</p><p>“Rich, I –” Eddie starts to say, but is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Richie frowns and sits up, still straddling Eddie as he looks in the direction of the front door.</p><p>“Go tell them to fuck off and get back here,” Eddie growls, pushing at Richie. “Hurry.”</p><p>Richie blinks as his brain catches up to what’s happening before he nods. Eddie swats at his ass as he walks past him, and Richie looks over his shoulder at Eddie and grins at him as he walks away.</p><p>“Enjoy the view!” Richie sings as he turns the corner, swaying his hips a little.</p><p>Eddie huffs and takes his shirt off, tossing it on the ground next to the couch. He might as well expedite the process while he waits for Richie to come back.</p><p>Richie walks back into the room. “Oh fuck,” he says when he sees Eddie, now shirtless. “Ugh. Put your shirt back on your abs. Bev’s here.”</p><p>Richie crosses the room and hands Eddie his shirt. He doesn’t let go of it as Eddie grabs it, causing Eddie to grin at him. “I can’t put it on if you don’t give it to me.”</p><p>“I think you should just be shirtless forever,” Richie says as he lets go of the shirt. “New rules.”</p><p>Eddie laughs and slips the shirt back on. So much for that.</p><p>“It’s safe, Bev!” Richie shouts as he helps Eddie sit up on the couch. “Spaghetti is now fully clothed. Unfortunately.”</p><p>Eddie swats at Richie’s chest and grumbles. “I just wanted to have sex,” he mumbles with a pout.</p><p>Richie pats him on the head. “You and me both, brother.”</p><p>“I am not your brother,” Eddie huffs. “Ugh. Thank god.”</p><p>Richie snorts as Bev walks into the living room. “Eddie!” She declares as she rushes over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek.</p><p>“Hey, love,” Eddie says, hugging her back. Eddie looks at her when she pulls away. She’s dressed up in a short, black dress that shimmers a little bit with a pair of black, strappy heels. “Why are you all dressed up?”</p><p>Bev grins and flops onto the couch next to him, crossing one leg over the other and grinning at him. “That’s actually why I’m here.”</p><p>Richie sits on Eddie’s other side, wrapping his arm around him and pulling him close to his chest. Eddie raises his eyebrow at Bev before looking at Richie.</p><p>“Don’t look at me,” Richie says when he sees Eddie looking at him. “We were about to get to get down and dirty. I clearly have no idea what the fuck is going on.”</p><p>Bev laughs and leans over, patting Eddie’s knee with her hand. “Okay, hear me out,” she says slowly. “I know you don’t really like going out.”</p><p>Eddie raises an eyebrow at her, leaning into Richie’s chest a little more as Richie’s arm wraps tighter around him.</p><p>Bev continues. “But I know you guys weren’t planning on having a bachelor party, but we – the rest of us, that is – we wanted you guys to have one. I think you both deserve to have one.”</p><p>Eddie looks at her. They decided against a bachelor party, either joint or separate, soon after getting engaged. The bars and clubs weren’t really Eddie’s scene these days, and Richie didn’t really want to do a separate one only for him if Eddie wasn’t going to have his own. It hadn’t really been a hardship or a loss for either of them, and Eddie hadn’t really thought about it at all since that conversation until right now.</p><p>“Um,” he says after a few seconds, looking up at Richie again. “Bev . . .”</p><p>“I know, honey,” she says softly, moving to grab one of his hands. “But that’s why I booked the whole upper level of Sunset.”</p><p>Eddie blinks. Sunset is a club Bev talks about frequently. It’s high-end and classy. He’s seen the pictures. Richie was there once; Eddie remembers when he came home one evening and talked of the club his coworkers had taken him to. He used the words “nice as fuck” to describe it before declaring it too fancy for him.</p><p>But the whole floor to themselves? It’s an interesting thought. There would be no strangers looking at Eddie in his wheelchair; no looks of sympathy or confusion; no unknowns towering over him as he makes his way across the floor. It sounds nice, actually.</p><p>“Just the eight of us plus a few extras,” Bev continues. “So, fifteen people max, probably.”</p><p>Eddie looks up at Richie again. He can feel Bev watching them, but he wants to know what Richie thinks of all this.</p><p>“Rich?” Eddie asks softly.</p><p>“It sounds nice to me,” Richie replies quietly, looking at Eddie. “But I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, Eds.”</p><p>“I think I’d be okay,” Eddie says. “It won’t be crowded and it’s just our friends. And we can leave if I need to?”</p><p>Richie nods instantly before looking at Bev. “I think we’re in?”</p><p>Eddie nods. “We’re in.”</p><p>Bev grins at the both of them, clapping her hands and standing up. “Perfect! I need to pick you both out some nice outfits so that Richie doesn’t wear a Hawaiian shirt and Eddie doesn’t look like he’s going into the office.”</p><p>“Hey!” Richie shouts, standing up and following Bev into the bedroom. “I have fucking style, Bev!”</p><p>“No you don’t!” Bev sings, her voice muffled. Eddie laughs and transfers into his chair, wheeling himself into bedroom behind them. “Your style is absolutely atrocious, my dear Richard.”</p><p>Richie huffs and flops on the bed dramatically. “You wound me,” he says, throwing an arm over his face. “Leave me here to die.”</p><p>“Get up, dickwad,” Eddie says, slapping Richie’s thigh as Bev throws a shirt on top of him. “Get fucking dressed so we can actually be on time for once.”</p><p>Richie sighs dramatically again but stands up, looking at the shirt that Bev threw at him. “Oh, I forgot I have this.”</p><p>“That’s because it’s <em>nice</em>,” Bev says, coming out of the closet with an outfit for Eddie.</p><p>“I wear nice clothes!”</p><p>“Like once a year, maybe,” Eddie says. “Outside of any celebrity things that you do, I have seen you in nice clothes of your own volition maybe once.”</p><p>“Fuck you both!” Richie shouts as he pulls his shirt off over his head, tossing it to the side as he unbuttons the shirt Bev gave him. “I get no love around here.”</p><p>Eddie watches as Richie struggles with the buttons of his shirt, noting his shoulders and muscles shifting as he puts his arms into it and buttons it back up. Ugh. Maybe they should have just said no and stayed in the rest of the night so they could finish what they started before Bev came in.</p><p>Bev hands Eddie the outfit, watching him and biting her lip. “I don’t know if you’ve worn this since,” she says slowly. “It might be too big? Or too small on your massive arms?”</p><p>Eddie huffs. “My arms aren’t massive.”</p><p>“Yes they are!” Richie sings from where he is now in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror.</p><p>“Let me try it,” Eddie replies. He takes his shirt off and replaces it with the new one, looking at himself in the mirror next to the closet door. It is a little snug on his arms and shoulders, defining them in a way that he doesn’t think the shirt was meant to fit.</p><p>But. He does have good arms.</p><p>“What do you think?” Eddie asks.</p><p>“It is a little tight,” Bev muses. “But it doesn’t look bad.”</p><p>Richie peers out of the bedroom, his head popping around the door to look at Eddie in the mirror. “Damn,” he says. “My boyfriend is fucking hot.”</p><p>“Fiancé,” Eddie corrects him instantly. “And thanks. I think it’s fine.”</p><p>Bev nods and hands him the pants.</p><p>“These might be too big, but I’ll just be sitting,” Eddie says. “It’ll be fine.”</p><p>Bev nods and hovers a little bit, holding her hands and wringing them. “Do you need help?”</p><p>“Um,” Eddie replies. “It usually is easier with help, but you don’t have to, I mean, I can do it –”</p><p>“Spagheds,” Richie comes out of the bathroom, taking the pants from Eddie. “Just let us help so we can get this party started.”</p><p>Eddie smiles, thankful that Richie came and broke the tension. He unbuttons his pants and begins to slide them off, smiling a little as Richie crouches down to help them tug them off.</p><p>He knows Bev and the Losers just worry about him. He just doesn’t want them to pity him. Which, he knows they don’t and that they just want to help because they love him, but he feels so weak when he needs help just doing something as simple as changing his pants.</p><p>But Richie . . . Well, Richie is used to it after years of being around and helping Eddie. He makes it seem second nature, like it is no hardship at all to help Eddie with certain things. It’s just easier to accept his help.</p><p>“Thanks,” Eddie says once he’s fully dressed. “I haven’t really dressed up for anything in so long.”</p><p>“Speaking of,” Bev says as they gather their things and start heading towards the door of the house. “I was wondering about something.”</p><p>Richie and Eddie both turn to look at her. She has a sparkle in her eyes that matches the slight shimmer of her dress.</p><p>“I was wondering if I could make the tuxedos for your guys’ wedding? I know it’s not much time now, and it’s totally fine if you already have something picked out, but. If you haven’t picked anything, I would love to do that for you.”</p><p>Richie and Eddie glance at each other. They haven’t picked out their suits yet, much to Eddie’s dismay and stress. It’s been stressing him out all week, actually. He’s been picturing worst case scenarios of every store in the world selling out of all tuxedos and them having to get married in two of Richie’s Hawaiian button-up shirts.</p><p>“I think that would be rad,” Richie says.</p><p>“Me too,” Eddie adds. “But only if you want to, Bev. Seriously, you don’t have to.”</p><p>“I want to,” Bev replies, biting her lip again. “I feel like it’s the least I can do.”</p><p>Eddie wheels closer to her and takes her hand, smiling up at her. “Come down here so I can give you a proper hug.”</p><p>Bev leans down and hugs him, and Eddie smiles into his hair.</p><p>Once they separate, they make their way into the car and towards the club.</p><p>Bev and Ben moved to California soon after Eddie had been discharged from the hospital. They were shortly followed by Stan and Patty, and then Mike, who had to close on all his Derry roots before shacking up with Bill. It was nice to have everyone so close after so many years spent apart, even if they didn’t remember each other all those years.</p><p>Richie wheels Eddie into the club. Early on, they found that it was easier for Eddie to navigate in public spaces if someone else was pushing him. There was less chance of him running into something or someone, and it helped to save Eddie’s energy so that he didn’t expend it all wheeling himself around.</p><p>The three of them crowd into the elevator. Richie is bouncing with excitement and Eddie smiles at him. They haven’t all gone out like this since the dinner in Derry, and he knows Richie does really love to socialize. Eddie feels bad, sometimes, that he doesn’t have the social capacity that he used to. Pre-Derry Eddie would have loved to hit the bars with Richie, shouting at any guy who so much as looks at Richie the wrong way while he stood protectively by his side and kissed his shoulder. They could have danced in a club (which Eddie would have gone to one time before declaring it 100% not his scene), and they could stumble home happy and drunk and in love.</p><p>Eddie reaches back for Richie’s hand. Richie slides his hand into Eddie’s, giving his hand a little squeeze.</p><p>“You okay?” Richie asks.</p><p>“Perfect,” Eddie whispers in reply.</p><p>Once the elevator is on the top floor, Bev gets out of the elevator first and waves for them to follow.</p><p>“Welcome to the Kaspbrak-Tozier Bachelor Party!” She shouts, and the room fills with shouts and laughter from their friends that are already there.</p><p>Eddie looks around and smiles. Patty and Stan are chatting with Mike and Ben near the bar. Bill is alone in the center of the dance floor, dancing his heart out by himself while Mike watches and smiles from the bar. Morgan is there, grinning and waving at Eddie. Eddie has never seen her outside of her work clothes, which are just stretchy pants and workout jackets. Her hair is down and she has makeup on, and Eddie almost doesn’t recognize her at first. She’s sitting next to Luke, the intern from Eddie’s work who Eddie has grown quite fond of. Luke smiles at him and looks at Morgan before blushing a little. Eddie will have to come back to <em>that</em> another day.</p><p>There are a few others from both Eddie’s office and Richie’s work scattered throughout the room, grinning and whooping at them as they make their way into the room. It’s a decent sized space, darkly lit with blue lighting. The middle of the floor is cleared for a small dancing space that Bill is currently occupying all by himself, and there are tables scattered around the dance floor. All the high tables are pushed to the side, and all barstools have been removed so that if people are sitting, they’ll be sitting at Eddie’s level. There is one big, long table towards the side of the room with dinner plates and glasses set up.</p><p>“Oh shit,” Eddie says when he sees the dinner plates. “Did you get the lasagna out of the oven?”</p><p>“Yep,” Richie replies, popping his lips on the ‘p.’ “I just stuck it in the fridge. Figured we can have it tomorrow.”</p><p>Eddie smiles as they head over to Ben, Stan, and Patty. Richie hugs all three at once, wrapping them in his long arms and giving them a squeeze until they all start shouting at him and hitting him.</p><p>“No love for Big Rich,” Richie pouts. “Just like it always is.”</p><p>“Hey!” Eddie yells at him with a frown. “I love you!”</p><p>Richie grins and swoops down to kiss him, hard and dirty for two seconds too long for a public space. “Maybe I just wanted to hear you say it.”</p><p>Eddie grumbles and crosses his arms over his chest as Morgan makes her way over to them.</p><p>“Thanks for the invite!” She says, grabbing a chair and sitting next to him. “Although I don’t think you had anything to do with this?”</p><p>“None,” Eddie replies, smiling at her. “Total surprise. It’s nice to see you outside of the clinic, though.”</p><p>“You too. I didn’t think you owned any clothes other than sweats and t-shirts.”</p><p>“I could say the same about you!”</p><p>Morgan laughs and squeezes his hand. “I’m happy for you,” she says after a second. “You deserve to have a little fun. And it seems like you guys have some really great friends.”</p><p>“We do,” Eddie says with a nod. “I think we’re lucky.”</p><p>Eddie looks over to see where Richie wandered off to. He’s over by the table, talking to some of his coworkers. He throws his head back and lets out a laugh that can be heard clearly across the room.</p><p>“Your man is good with people,” Morgan says. She’s watching Richie too, smiling as he laughs again.</p><p>“He’s probably the only reason I socialize now,” Eddie replies. “He makes up for my lack of social abilities.”</p><p>“I think you’re social!” Morgan says.</p><p>“I think your words to describe me were ‘rabid Yorkie?’” Eddie says. “I’m not sure that’s something that gets along well with others.”</p><p>Morgan laughs just as Bev announces it’s time for dinner. Eddie wheels himself towards the table, smiling as Richie removes one of the chairs for Eddie so that Eddie can slide under the table. Richie takes a seat next to him, grabbing his hand and pressing a kiss to his cheek.</p><p>Everybody eats and drinks. It’s loud, there’s a lot of yelling and laughing and kissing. Some rolls are thrown across the table, one smacking Richie directly in the side of the head, causing him to yelp and making Eddie laugh so hard that his side hurts. The rounds keep coming, and by the time dessert is brought out, everybody is laughing and possibly a little drunk.</p><p>“This is the best fucking thing I ever had,” Eddie mumbles around a mouthful of the cake that was brought out. “Seriously. I’m in heaven.”</p><p>“Why don’t you marry the cake instead then?” Richie says petulantly with a wink. Eddie shoulder bumps him and smiles.</p><p>Bev stands up once dessert is taken away, clapping her hands and grinning as she bounces a bit. “Let’s get this party started!” Some people move to the dance floor, and Eddie watches as his friends start moving and shaking. He grins as Ben spins Bev out onto the floor, her dress spinning with her. Richie is bouncing his leg to the beat next to him, his hand resting on Eddie’s thigh as they watch their friends.</p><p>“You can go dance,” Eddie says to Richie. “Really. If you want to, I want you to.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Richie says, looking at Eddie. “I don’t want to leave you here.”</p><p>“I’ll come closer so I’m just at the edge,” Eddie says. “I want you to have fun too, Richie.”</p><p>Richie smiles and gets up, kissing him once before shimmying out onto the floor to the hoots and hollers of their friends.</p><p>Eddie smiles as he watches them, grinning as Richie twirls Bev with one arm and Patty with the other with Bill hanging onto his back like a spider monkey. After one song, Patty whispers something into Richie’s ear before grinning. Eddie sees Richie nod and laugh again before he rushes over to Morgan and whispers in her ear. Morgan glances at Eddie for a second before nodding, and then Richie, Patty, and Morgan are all rushing over towards him.</p><p>“No arguing, Spaghetti!” Richie shouts as he comes up behind Eddie. Morgan is at his side, quickly unlocking his wheelchair brakes before Richie starts pushing him onto the dance floor. Richie zooms him forward, and Morgan goes up behind Richie and places her hands on his shoulders as everyone starts to form a Conga line as the song starts to play.</p><p>“Richie Wentworth Fucking Tozier!” Eddie shouts over the music when he recognizes it. “You know I fucking hate this song!”</p><p>“Everyone hates this song!” Richie shouts back. “And I said no arguing!”</p><p>Eddie huffs, smiling as he sees Morgan run towards Luke and start pushing his chair towards the Conga line.</p><p>“Luke!” He shouts with a whoop. “If I have to do it, you have to do it too, dude!”</p><p>He thinks he hears Luke groan, but he’s distracted by one of Richie’s hands squeezing his shoulder. He glances back over his shoulder at him, smiling when he sees Richie looking at him with a soft smile.</p><p>“I like to see you having fun,” Richie says softly, his voice just hearable over the music.</p><p>“I always have fun with you,” Eddie replies quickly.</p><p>“I know,” Richie says. “But I haven’t seen you smile like this in a while.”</p><p>Eddie relaxes back into his chair and smiles. He is having fun. He’s with his friends at a fancy club, but it’s not stressful at all. He’s getting married in under two months, to <em>Richie Tozier</em> of all people. He’s happy.</p><p>“I’m happy!” He shouts over the music as the song comes to an end. “I’m so fucking happy.”</p><p>Richie crouches down in front of him as the Conga line disperses. He cups Eddie’s cheek in his hand and leans in to kiss him. Eddie hums into the kiss. Richie tastes like chocolate cake and beer, which is ideally not a great combination, but Eddie thinks it tastes like heaven in Richie’s mouth.</p><p>Richie pulls back a little. They’re both breathing heavy, their eyes locked on each other’s before their mouths crash together again. Eddie fists Richie’s shirt with both hands, pulling him closer.</p><p>They only pull apart when they hear a whistle from behind them. “No hanky panky on the dance floor!” Stan shouts at them. “Take it somewhere else!”</p><p>“Maybe we will, shithead!” Richie shouts back before looking back at Eddie. He raises an eyebrow at him, and Eddie laughs.</p><p>“We are not ditching our own party to go make out in a corner,” Eddie says.</p><p>“I think they would understand,” Richie replies. “It’s our party! They know we’re in love!”</p><p>“You can have me later,” Eddie replies. “Take me back onto the dance floor.”</p><p>Richie wheels him back out to the middle of the dance floor, where all of their friends crowd around him and start grinding their butts into him.</p><p>“Not cool!” Eddie shouts with a laugh, giving Richie’s ass a playful slap when he joins in on the action. “This is not fair! All your asses are right at my line of sight!”</p><p>“That’s the point!” Bev shouts from somewhere to his left. “Butts for days!”</p><p>Eddie snorts and lets himself be smothered in the backsides of all his friends. He feels happy here, surrounded by all of his friends who love him and just want what’s best for him. He’s getting married, and this is probably his last big celebration as a ‘bachelor’ before tying the knot. As everyone keeps dancing around him, Eddie smiles again. He feels light, lighter than he has in a long time. It’s nice to know that he <em>is</em> still capable of having fun; still capable of letting go and forgetting about everything for a little bit.</p><p>At some point, after the body shots have been brought out and devoured, after the dancing has faded and the music got quieter, Eddie lounges on one of the couches with Richie, both of his legs propped up and resting on Richie’s lap. Richie hands are stroking up and down Eddie’s shins, his head leaning back against the backrest of the couch, looking and smiling at Eddie.</p><p>“I think we should keep your name,” Eddie says out of nowhere. He blinks, not entirely sure where it came from. They had talked about it in the past, but neither of them had been able to decide on anything.</p><p>“Huh?” Richie says, his eyes focusing on Eddie.</p><p>“Tozier,” Eddie replies. “I think we should both be Toziers.”</p><p>Richie blinks at him. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eddie says, even though he’s not sure <em>why</em> he’s sure. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s how absolutely stress-free he feels right now. But it just feels right. “I would love to be a Tozier. I have no real attachments to my name other than my heritage. But it’s kind of tainted, what with the shitty mother and ex-wife who is insisting on keeping my name.”</p><p>“Hm,” Richie hums. “Eddie Tozier.”</p><p>“And people like to call you Tozier anyway,” Eddie continues with a shrug. “It would be silly if your last name was no longer Tozier and people still called you that.”</p><p>Richie hums again, his hand sliding farther up Eddie’s leg towards his thigh. “Eddie Tozier,” he says again.</p><p>“I like it,” Eddie replies.</p><p>“You don’t want to hyphenate?”</p><p>“I don’t really want to have to write a million characters on every single official form,” Eddie admits. “I don’t think you would either.”</p><p>Richie is now rubbing Eddie’s thigh as he smiles at him. “If that’s what you want,” he says with a smile.</p><p>“It is.”</p><p>Eddie leans forward and kisses him, grinning against Richie’s lips as his hand slides even higher up on Eddie’s thigh. “Rich,” he mumbles as Richie starts pressing wet kisses along his jaw and down to his neck. “Rich, can we, mm. Can we go home now?”</p><p>Richie nods and pulls away reluctantly. He helps Eddie back into the chair, and they make their rounds as they say goodbye to everyone.</p><p>“I love you both soooooo much,” Bev sings as she hugs Eddie tightly. “So. Fucking. Much.”</p><p>Eddie laughs and rubs her back. “Bev,” he says after a second. “Be my best man? Best woman? I don't know, just. Be my best person? At my wedding?”</p><p>Bev leans back a little, her eyes shining with a few tears. “Eds,” she says softly. “Of course, honey. Of course.”</p><p>Eddie hugs her tightly again, pretending that he doesn't feel his own eyes sparkling with tears.</p><p>“Oh, what the fuck!” Richie shouts after a second. “I’m being upstaged by my almost husband!”</p><p>Richie steps away from Eddie’s chair before climbing onto one of the dinner chairs.</p><p>“Be careful!” Eddie and Bev both shout at him at the same time.</p><p>Richie hushes them. “STANLEY!” He shouts repeatedly, his hands cupped over his mouth. He continues shouting his name until he has Stan’s attention from across the room. “BE MY BEST MAN?”</p><p>“NO!” Stan shouts back, but he’s laughing.</p><p>Richie grins and jumps down from the chair. “We can go now.”</p><p>Eddie shakes his head and smiles, relaxing back in his chair. Richie sings quietly behind him as they walk out to the Uber that was called for them. Eddie listens and sighs happily.</p><p>“I love you,” Eddie says, interrupting Richie’s solo ballad of <em>Dancing on My Own.</em></p><p>“I love you, too,” Richie replies, seamlessly transitioning back into his song.</p><p>As Eddie listens to Richie butcher the song, he thinks again about how lucky he is. He’s now even more excited for their wedding. Tonight was perfect, and it showed Eddie that he is still allowed to have fun. He can be in public and have fun. As long as he has Richie and his friends, he thinks he can have fun anywhere.</p><p>Richie opens the car door and helps Eddie to transfer in, folding up his wheelchair and tossing it in the trunk before sliding in after him. Eddie leans into Richie’s side, Richie’s arm wrapping around him protectively.</p><p>“You make everything better,” Eddie says as Richie kisses just below his ear. “Don’t know how, but you just do.”</p><p>“That’s the alcohol talking,” Richie replies.</p><p>“Mm,” Eddie hums. “No it’s not.”</p><p>Eddie kisses him again and thinks that no, it really is not. It’s just Richie and who he is. He is vocal and loud and always laughing and joking. He loves Eddie and cares for him. He’s just. He’s Richie. He’s Eddie’s Richie.</p><p>Eddie keeps kissing him. “My Richie,” he says against his lips.</p><p>Richie laughs. “My Eddie,” he retorts.</p><p>“I’m my own person,” Eddie huffs as Richie kisses his jaw.</p><p>“You are,” Richie mumbles against his skin. “But you’re also my person. My only person.”</p><p>They keep kissing the ride home, and by the time they’re in the driveway, Eddie is more than a little breathless.</p><p>As Richie wheels Eddie into the house, Eddie smiles to himself. He may be Richie’s person now, but in August, he’ll be Richie’s husband. Richie leans down to kiss him again once they’re in the bedroom and this, Eddie thinks, might be the perfect life. Even with all its flaws, when Richie kisses him, it’s perfect.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>NEXT PART IS THE PART WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. WE ARE GETTING CLOSE.</p><p>Find me @edskasper on twitter if you want to yell about it with me :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. feel like it's summer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Now pull yourself together and let’s fucking do this,” Eddie says with a smile. “I want to dance with my husband.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's here! More notes to come at the end.</p><p>Here is the song! I included a link in the text and gave a recommended spot to start playing it if you want optimal ambiance. </p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkrTVpa4Uxg</p><p>Content warning for brief alcohol mentions.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">August 2019</span>
</p><p>Three days, Eddie thinks. Just three more days.</p><p>It’s the night of the rehearsal dinner and all of the Losers are gathered in Bill’s backyard. Bill ordered takeout from an Italian restaurant nearby, and several rounds of food and multiple bottles of wine later, and Eddie feels a little floaty. Happy.</p><p>He’s lounging on a blanket on the ground, on his back but propped up on his elbows so that he can watch his friends around him. Richie is on his side next to him, smiling at him as he picks some fabric pills off of the blanket. Bev is twirling around with Ben to the music, her head tipped back in full laughter while Bill and Mike finish putting the leftovers away in the kitchen, and Stan and Patty are on a bench by the pond off to the side of Bill’s yard.</p><p>Eddie hums, dropping his elbows and lying fully on his back and looking up at the late evening sky. It’s almost dark with still just a hint of orange, not bright enough that it hurts his eyes but still enough to cast some light onto the backyard. Eddie feels Richie scoot closer to him before he feels Richie’s hand rub along his chest.</p><p>“Dick for your thoughts?”</p><p>Eddie snorts and turns his head to glance at Richie. “I don’t think that’s the phrase.”</p><p>“More persuading than a penny,” Richie says with a wolfish grin.</p><p>“Mm,” Eddie hums. Richie’s not wrong. He looks back up the sky and thinks. If somebody had asked him back before his return to Derry what he would be doing in August of 2019, this wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. Not just because he didn’t remember his friends, didn’t remember <em>Richie</em> at the time, but because he didn’t think this was something he could have. Happiness. A sense of joy and freedom he hasn’t felt since he was a kid. His old life was full of resignation and anger, just another page out of a gray notebook that was scribbled upon day after day with no thought or effort put into anything. He had feelings, of course he did, but. Not these ones.</p><p>“I feel serene,” Eddie says eventually. “Which is odd.”</p><p>Richie rests his head on the side of Eddie’s chest, looping his arm across his waist. “Everything’s in order. You made sure of it.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t I be panicking? Isn’t there usually something that’s forgotten about until the very last second? I just. Feel like I should be panicking.”</p><p>“When have you ever let something slip through the cracks, Eds? You’re Edward Kaspbrak.” Richie emphasizes his name with a kiss to Eddie’s chest.</p><p>“Not for much longer,” Eddie says, smiling up at the sky again. “I’ll be Edward Tozier soon.”</p><p>“Hey!” Richie shouts louder than necessary, bolting upright into a seated position before all but rolling on top of Eddie. He hovers over him with a wide grin on his face, and Eddie feels himself turning red as he sees his friends looking in their direction.</p><p>“What’s happening?” Eddie says with a slight frown as he looks up at Richie. Richie rests against Eddie’s body, his forearms crossed across Eddie’s chest.</p><p>“Your initials will be E.T.” Richie says with a grin.</p><p>“Oh come <em>on,</em>” Eddie huffs, trying to shove Richie off of him. “You don't get to squish me if that’s your reason!”</p><p>“E.T. phone home?” Richie says with the voice.</p><p>“Wedding is cancelled!” Eddie shouts across the yard, still shoving at Richie’s shoulders.</p><p>“E.T. blow me?” Richie replies, louder and still with the voice before collapsing into Eddie’s chest in a fit of giggles.</p><p>“We don’t need to hear these things!” Eddie hears Stan shout from by the pond. “Nobody wants to know about your weird alien roleplay.”</p><p>“It’s not – we’re not –” Eddie splutters before groaning. He gives up on trying to shove Richie off of him, because Richie is now latched to him like a spider monkey. “Why is this my life.”</p><p>Richie laughs into his chest, causing Eddie to sigh and run a hand through Richie’s hair. Richie may be a doofus, but Eddie is, unfortunately, quite fond of him.</p><p>Eddie tells him so.</p><p>“Me? A doofus?” Richie asks, pushing himself up with one hand before clasping his chest with the other. “Why, I have never . . .”</p><p>“Why is the southern belle here now? Why does that voice make so many appearances?” Eddie asks with a huff, throwing an arm over his face to cover his eyes.</p><p>“I can’t control it,” Richie says, flopping back down on top of Eddie. Eddie feels a kiss pressed to his jaw, and he feels Richie stroking his cheek with his hand. “Look at me?”</p><p>Eddie removes his arm and looks up at Richie. Richie is hovering over him again, his face close to Eddie’s and his hand gently holding Eddie’s face. The dark orange glow from the last remnants of the setting sun shines against Richie’s hair, creating a backdrop of warmth and love. His eyes are glowing as he looks at Eddie in a way that makes Eddie’s heart feel two sizes too big.</p><p>He loves Richie, loves him, loves him, loves him. His heart swells just thinking Richie’s name, and he sometimes feels like a teenager rather than a man in his mid-forties when he looks at him.</p><p>“I love you,” Eddie tells him, because Richie deserves to be told it as often as possible. This is Richie, his Richie, who spent just as long without Eddie as Eddie spent without him. Richie, who felt he didn’t deserve happiness, who was afraid of commitment, who wanted nothing than for Eddie to wake up in the hospital. Richie, who thought he almost lost it all after only having had it all for a few days.</p><p>“I love you, too,” Richie says, and he leans down to kiss him. Eddie wraps his arms around Richie’s shoulders, pulling him closer, and this he could spend the rest of his life doing. Kissing Richie with the warmth of the setting sun on his hands, the warmth of Richie’s body on his, and the warmth of Richie’s love in his heart.</p><p>“I’ll love you forever,” Richie says once he pulls away, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s jaw.</p><p>“Good,” Eddie replies. “Because forever is the point of getting married.”</p><hr/><p>The night before the wedding, and Eddie still doesn’t feel nervous. He isn’t panicked. He isn’t raging at any of their vendors. The cake is done, the venue is set up, the vendors have all confirmed the time they will be arriving tomorrow. Literally everything is in place, and Eddie almost feels like he needs to find something that’s missing. There is absolutely no way he didn’t miss something.</p><p>Eddie currently sits on the kitchen floor with his wheelchair next to him and a towel in his hand. If he is going to be photographed excessively tomorrow, then his chair is going to look pristine. He does not want a single dust or dirt blemish to be visible in any of the wedding pictures. He turns his wheelchair to access a different side, wiping it down and humming to himself.</p><p>Since being discharged from the hospital, Eddie hasn’t loved having his picture taken. He doesn’t like how much shorter he is than everyone in the chair, which he knows is just a fact of life at this point. For the most part, everyone usually will crouch down to his level if a picture is needed. However, the first thing he did was hire a photographer for the wedding who had pictures of individuals in a wheelchair in her portfolio. He doesn’t want his head to be cut off in any of the pictures on accident. Tomorrow is his day and he wants proof of it.</p><p>Eddie hums as Richie comes into the kitchen.</p><p>“Lookin’ shiny,” Richie says as he opens the fridge.</p><p>They decided that spending the night before the wedding apart was dumb since neither of them wanted to do it. Eddie admitted that he didn’t sleep well without Richie on a normal night, let alone on a night when they would both be a little nervous for the day to come. Richie said the same, stating that he liked waking up and knowing that Eddie was still there next to him. And that had been that.</p><p>“Thanks,” Eddie replies as he sets his towel down. He spins the chair around one more time to make sure he got every part of it. Once satisfied, he places his hand on the chair and pushes up, swinging his bottom up and into the chair like he has done so many times before now.</p><p>Richie is watching him with a soft smile, waving him over towards the living room. He has a tub of ice cream in his hand and two spoons. “It’s still crazy to me you can get from the ground and into a chair with just your arms,” Richie says as he plops onto the couch, patting the spot on the couch next to him.</p><p>“It’s all momentum,” Eddie replies with a shrug. It’s hard to explain all the things he’s able to do just with momentum and force alone. It was a learning curve, and it required a lot of work and education from Morgan, but he’s proud of how independent he is able to be with most things. He likes that Richie is surprised by what he’s able to achieve. He knows he’s come so far, and sometimes it’s nice to be acknowledged.</p><p>Eddie transfers onto the couch, landing next to Richie and immediately leaning into his side. He takes a spoon out of Richie’s hand and takes a spoonful of ice cream. “Sharing a carton is gross,” Eddie says around the spoon.</p><p>“Clearly you don’t really care,” Richie laughs and takes a bite. “We exchange saliva a lot already, anyway.”</p><p>“That’s disgusting,” Eddie says as he takes another bite. “I’m never kissing you again if you keep describing it like that.”</p><p>Richie leans in and kisses him, and Eddie, of course, kisses him back.</p><p>“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Richie says once he pulls away, returning to the ice cream. They keep eating the ice cream as the TV quietly plays a sitcom rerun. Eddie leans into Richie’s side and sets his spoon down on the coffee table, his head resting on Richie’s shoulder.</p><p>This time tomorrow, they’ll be husbands. There will be a ring on both of their fingers and a piece of paper saying so. Eddie smiles and rubs a hand across Richie’s chest, causing Richie to smile at him as he finishes the last of the ice cream and sets the carton down.</p><p>Eddie knows this is what he wants. He knows this is what Richie wants. Richie has told him time and time again how he loves him, wants him, needs him. Eddie can hear it in his words and feel it in Richie’s lips, his hands, his heart.</p><p>“Are you sure this is what you want, Rich?”</p><p>But, even if Eddie knows that Richie loves him and wants him, he still needs to make sure that Richie wants him forever. Because Eddie isn’t the same Eddie he was before. He has a wheelchair and a life full of therapy appointments and exercises and  checkups. He has a life of needing accessible parking and entrances, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever really get over his lack of desire to be out in public.</p><p>“Yep,” Richie says casually, looking at Eddie with a smile. “I want it all, Eds. I want you and everything that comes with it. I want to take you to therapy appointments. I want to support you as you try new things. I want to help you when you need it and just sit back and watch when you don’t. I know what you’re thinking and. Eddie. I don’t know how to tell you this, but without you? <em>I</em> am nothing.”</p><p>How does Richie always know what he’s thinking? It sounds like he was ready with that, almost rehearsed, it flowed off his tongue so casually and lovingly and –</p><p>“Did you fucking steal those from you vows?” Eddie asks, sitting up a little bit and squinting at Richie. “I swear to god, if you just spoiled your vows for me –”</p><p>Richie laughs and pulls Eddie back into his chest. “You’ll have to find out tomorrow,” he mumbles, kissing the side of Eddie’s head. “But no. I was just ready for you to ask that.”</p><p>Eddie sighs and relaxes back into Richie’s chest. “It was exactly what I needed to hear,” he admits softly. He looks out the window to Richie’s side, watching as the sun finishes setting below the horizon. Soon, soon, soon.</p><p>“You know nothing has to change, right?” Richie says after a few moments, watching the TV and glancing at Eddie.</p><p>Eddie hums. “But everything will change, I think.”</p><p>“Like what?” Richie asks, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s jaw, then another, then another.</p><p>“I’ll have a new name,” Eddie begins, fisting his hand in Richie’s shirt as Richie kisses just under his ear. “Don’t fucking say my initials right now, I’m not done,” he adds when Richie detaches his mouth from Eddie’s neck to say something. “Go back to what you were doing.”</p><p>Richie laughs before resuming his trail down Eddie’s neck.</p><p>“I’ll get to call you my husband when talking to other people,” Eddie continues, humming as Richie nips gently at his ear. “Not my boyfriend or fiancé. My husband. That shit is permanent.”</p><p>Richie hums, leaning up to kiss Eddie’s mouth. Eddie moans and opens his mouth for Richie, letting himself get lost for a moment before pulling away.</p><p>“You’ll have a ring on your finger,” Eddie says, a little breathless now as Richie’s nose traces along his jaw, his hand sliding up under Eddie’s shirt. “We’ll have a joint bank account. Both of our names can go on the deed for the house. People will call us the Toziers.”</p><p>“Mm, keep making lists for me, baby,” Richie says against his jaw with a laugh. “Gets me all hot and bothered.”</p><p>Eddie laughs and has every intention of pushing Richie away in exasperation, but his hands grab Richie’s shirt and drag him closer instead. Seems his body might have other plans. “Kiss me again and maybe I’ll make you some more lists,” he says with a growl, and Richie laughs and does just that.</p><hr/><p>Eddie takes a deep breath and looks in the mirror. This is it, he thinks. He’s ready.</p><p>He shrugs his suit jacket on just as Bev comes rushing into Bill’s spare bedroom. She’s dressed in a long gown and her hair is in an updo that’s framing her face. True to her word, Bev made them both impeccable suits for the wedding.</p><p>“Oh, baby,” Bev says, coming over to Eddie and crouching down in front of him. “You look so handsome.”</p><p>Eddie smiles at her and adjusts his tie in the mirror. Bev had requested that they not get dressed together, still wanting them to have their “first look” at each other but, more importantly, at the beautiful outfits that Bev designed from her heart.</p><p>“It’s perfect,” Eddie says, leaning forward to hug her. “Thank you so much.”</p><p>Bev hugs him back, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and squeezing. “I love you so much, Eddie,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You deserve this so much.”</p><p>Eddie kisses her cheek and Bev stands back up, straightening out her dress and grinning at him. She checks the time on her phone before skipping towards the door. “Let me go check on Rich one more time and then we’ll be good to go,” she says, and then she’s out the door before Eddie can even reply.</p><p>Eddie wheels himself towards the door to wait for Bev to return. They are going to do a first look outside before getting into position, by the pond on the side of Bill’s backyard. Eddie rolls out into the hallway, only to catch a brief glimpse of Richie’s backside as he rounds the corner to the backyard.</p><p>“C’mon!” Bev shouts at him as she comes out of the other room, waving at him and cueing him to follow them outside.</p><p>Eddie quickly goes towards the door, grinning when he sees Richie’s full backside now. He’s facing away from Eddie, and Eddie can tell that his hands are clasped in front of him. He’s bouncing on his heels slightly, and Eddie feels himself break out into a grin.</p><p>Bev steps to the side and leans down to kiss his cheek one more time before Eddie starts heading towards Richie.</p><p>“Turn around, sweetheart,” Eddie says quietly once he’s behind Richie, tugging gently at Richie’s sleeve to get his attention. Richie turns around and looks down at Eddie before immediately crouching down in front of him.</p><p>“Eds,” Richie whispers, and Eddie sees a slight shine in his eyes. “You look edible.”</p><p>Eddie snorts and shakes his head before taking in Richie’s outfit. It’s a simple suit, black, fitted perfectly to Richie’s shoulders with a green bowtie. Eddie reaches out to straighten it, smiling as Richie ducks his head to kiss Eddie’s hand instead.</p><p>“I love when you wear bowties,” Eddie murmurs to Richie, looking back up at his face. “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you, too,” Richie replies. “Bev did so good. You look amazing.”</p><p>Eddie hums before motioning for Richie to stand back up. “I can’t get a full view with you crouched down here,” Eddie says. “Spin for me, baby.”</p><p>Richie tips his head back and laughs, but obliges. He does a spin, grinning at Eddie over his shoulder once his backside is facing Eddie. “Like what you see?”</p><p>“Always,” Eddie replies. “Bev did good work on your assets.”</p><p>“My assets, huh?” Richie says as he turns back around, waggling his eyebrows at Eddie.</p><p>“Yep. Considering that’s my line of vision most of the time, I am very appreciative of her efforts to emphasize it.”</p><p>Richie laughs again, and Eddie could listen to Richie laugh for the rest of his life.</p><p>“Ready?” Eddie hears Stan ask. “Everyone’s seated.”</p><p>Eddie looks at Richie and nods. “Ready,” he says with a smile.</p><p>Richie reaches out to take Eddie’s hand, squeezing it once. “Let’s get this show on the road.”</p><hr/><p>The chairs are set up in rows. It’s a traditional set-up, with two columns of chairs and an aisle in the middle. There’s one chair to the right up front, right under the wedding arch. It was a unanimous decision for both of them, both opting for everyone to sit during the ceremony, so that everyone was at the same level as Eddie.</p><p>Bev comes up behind Eddie, squeezing his shoulder once and leaning down to press another kiss to his cheek. The music starts to play, and Eddie watches as Richie walks down the aisle, followed by Stan, and then Bev is pushing him towards the front.</p><p>Richie is already seated, and he reaches out for Eddie’s hand before he’s even in reach, like he can’t wait for Eddie to be up there with him. Eddie immediately takes his hand as soon as he can, grabbing Richie’s fingertips first and then his whole hand once he’s closer.</p><p>“Hi,” Eddie whispers, and he wonders why he feels like he hasn’t seen Richie in years when he hasn’t taken his eyes off of him since coming outside.</p><p>“Hey, hot stuff,” Richie replies quietly, squeezing Eddie’s hand.</p><p>Mike, in all his talent, is also apparently wedding officiant, and he offered to officiate the wedding for them. The ceremony begins with traditional words, but Eddie can’t take his eyes or attention away from Richie. He just feels so much happiness and love right now, and he thinks if he looks away from Richie for even one second, he’ll explode.</p><p>Eddie is snapped out of his staring when Mike states that it is time for the vows. Richie clears his throat before taking Eddie’s other hand in his, holding both of his hands and smiling at him.</p><p>“Eds,” Richie starts. “Spaghetti. I lied yesterday when I said I didn’t spoil my vows, because I totally did.”</p><p>Eddie laughs softly and shakes his head. He knew it. The little shit.</p><p>“But, I would like to say it again, because I feel like you can’t hear this enough. You are it for me, Spagheds. I want it all, everything you have to offer. I want to take you to therapy appointments. I want to support you as you try new things. I want to help you when you need it and just sit back and watch when you don’t. I am nothing without you, Eddie. You are my everything.”</p><p>Eddie sniffs, smiling as Richie brings one hand up to wipe quickly at his eyes underneath his glasses before taking Eddie’s hand again.</p><p>“I was looking for you forever, I think,” Richie continues. “And it took us a while to find each other, but we did, and now I never want to let you go. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to be yours forever.”</p><p>Eddie smiles shakily and brings Richie’s hand up to his mouth. He presses a gentle kiss to it. “I love you,” he mouths at Richie.</p><p>Mike cues for Eddie to go, and Eddie takes a deep breath. He squeezes Richie’s hands once before starting.</p><p>“Rich. I really wasn’t sure what to say here that I haven’t already told you. But I can start with I love you. I love how you love me and how you make me just feel like <em>me. </em>I love that I don’t have to be somebody else around you. You make it so I don’t have to hide. I love how you respect me, and you don’t look at me with pity. You make me feel strong, and I want to keep being strong for you.”</p><p>Eddie squeezes Richie’s hands again, letting go of one to wipe a tear off of Richie’s cheek. “We almost didn’t have this. We almost lost each other, and that made me realize that I don’t want to spend a single day without you. You are too precious to me. I just realized that you stole my line, you shithead. Because <em>you</em> are also everything to <em>me</em>. I would still be ‘Eddie’ without you, but I wouldn't be ‘Eddie and Richie’ if I didn’t have you.”  </p><p>“I love you more than anything,” Eddie says, quieter now, his voice cracking a little. “I loved you then and I love you now. I’ll listen to your shitty jokes forever just to be your husband.”</p><p>Richie laughs loudly, his voice filling up the backyard and causing a rift of laughter to ripple among their guests.</p><p>Mike cues for them to exchange rings. Eddie slides the ring on Richie’s finger, smiling at it and brushing his finger over it before Richie does the same. The ring feels heavy on Eddie’s finger. Sturdy. Like a lifetime of promises made over and over, and a lifetime of promises yet to come.</p><p>And when Mike tells them to kiss, Richie is out of his seat and crouching down in front of Eddie, taking his face in both of his hands and kissing him. Eddie brings one hand up to rest over Richie’s, while the other wraps around Richie’s shoulders to hold him in place. He kisses Richie as everyone cheers for them, but Eddie can’t hear them. All he can think about is Richie’s lips and the ring on his finger and the future they have together. In this moment, Eddie thinks that he has everything he’s ever wanted and needed.</p><p>Richie pulls back after several moments, their lips making a pop as Bill lets out a wolf whistle. Eddie ducks his head and laughs, and Richie’s cheeks turn a little pink.</p><p>“I hope they’re ready for the PDA,” Richie says, stroking his thumb along Eddie’s cheek. “Because I am going to kiss you as much as I want tonight.”</p><p>Eddie presses a small kiss to his lips and smiles. “I won’t stop you.”</p><p>Richie pulls back and clasps their hands together before raising them up and letting out a loud holler. Eddie laughs and shakes his head, smiling at Bev as she dabs her eyes and makes a heart with her hands at him. Eddie’s heart is filled with so much love for Richie, for his friends, and for the future. This isn’t the future he envisioned for himself, but in this moment, he doesn’t think he would change a thing.</p><hr/><p>Pictures are taken as the reception is set up, and once all the guests are seated, the reception goes off without a glitch. Dinner is served, Eddie tries to shove Richie out of his seat more than once for attempting to steal food off of his plate, and glasses are clanked on several occasions to get them to kiss. Please. Like Eddie needs any excuse to kiss his husband. He can do that of his own free will, thank you very much.</p><p>Bev and Stan both give speeches about them, Stan’s starting as a roast of Richie before turning sappy and turning all of them into a blubbery mess. Bev is crying and smiling from the start of hers, grinning at Eddie and Richie and telling them how much she loves them and is so happy to see them so happy.</p><p>Eddie drinks his champagne after her speech, setting his glass down and turning to Richie to say something. As he turns, he frowns and blinks, because Richie isn’t in his seat anymore. He looks around the backyard, wondering where he wandered off to before he sees him in the middle of the dance floor with a grin on his face. He has a microphone in his hand, and Eddie actually has no idea what’s about to happen.</p><p>“Testing?” Richie says, grinning when his voice spreads throughout the backyard. “Perfect. It’s time for me to be the center of attention again, since it’s my wedding.”</p><p>“Before Eddie asks, no, I am not going to dance right now,” Richie says quickly. Eddie was about to open his mouth to ask just that, so he quickly closes it and crosses his arms over his chest. Richie lets out a laugh and shakes his head a little before continuing. “No, the first dance on this floor is reserved for me and my Spaghetti Man. No, right now, I just want to talk about Eddie, because he is my favorite thing to talk about.”</p><p>Eddie feels himself being pulled away from the table. He blinks and grabs his arm rests, looking up and seeing Bev wheeling him down to the dance floor and setting him in front of Richie. She gives him a smile before walking back into the crowd. Eddie thinks they must have been planning whatever this is, because the whole thing is too well timed. Richie gets down on one knee in front of him, facing Eddie but still addressing the rest of the crowd.</p><p>“I know we’ve had a lot of sap today, but it’s a wedding, I think it’s allowed. But this guy? Is a sap.” He points at Eddie and grins. “He clings to me like a spider monkey if I try to get out of bed early. But then he’ll threaten to throw me out a window ten seconds later, so I guess it evens it out in the end.”</p><p>“As everyone here knows, I would die without being insulted. I can’t explain it, my brain just needs the stimulation. And Eddie here? Is the insult king. “Dickwad” is his favorite, but I have also heard “Shithead,” which you all heard today during his vows, as well as “Asshole” and sometimes even a mix of all of them. He is feisty and sometimes aggressive, and I love him so much.”</p><p>Richie takes Eddie’s hand, now turning to Eddie and addressing him. His voice is quieter now, still amplified by the microphone but softer, like he’s talking only to Eddie.</p><p>“The reason I’m doing this right now is because he deserves it. He deserves to know how strong he is and how loved he is. He has been through so much, and I know it’s hard, babe. I know you’ll always have things you’re working on. But you aren’t alone, Eds. You’re not alone anymore, because I want to share everything with you. I love how hard you have worked for everything you’ve accomplished, and I can’t wait to see what else you do in the future.”</p><p>Richie leans forward to kiss him once, too quick, Eddie thinks, before standing back up and jogging over to the table to grab his champagne glass. He comes back in front of Eddie before holding his glass up. “To Eddie,” he says, clinking with the air to cue the guests to toast. “My husband.”</p><p>“To Eddie!” Echoes throughout the crowd, but Eddie just tugs on Richie’s hand, dragging him down into a long and dirty kiss. Eddie’s hand grabs on the backside of Richie’s head, holding him in place as he hard and deep and fast, causing Richie to moan before pulling apart.</p><p>“I love you so fucking much,” Eddie says, kissing him again. “You could have told me you were doing that, asshole.”</p><p>“Ladies and gentlemen, he just called me an asshole!” Richie says into the microphone, and laughter ripples throughout the guests again. Eddie turns off the microphone and sets it on the ground before pulling Richie into another kiss.</p><p>After, they cut the cake, and Eddie will absolutely not let Richie smash the cake in his face. But if Richie’s piece ends up a little more on his cheek than in his mouth, well, Eddie has always had bad aim, and he doesn’t see Richie complaining when Eddie leans in to lick the frosting off of his cheek. Eddie has had a few glasses of champagne tonight and he is high on love and life, he thinks he’s earned the right to be a little bit sexy at his own wedding.</p><p>And then, it’s time for the dance.</p><p>Eddie has been trying not think about it all day. Morgan gave him an out, saying that if at any point he didn’t want to do it, they could call it off and they could improvise. But Eddie has been working on this for almost a year now. He’s ready. He’s ready to dance with his husband.</p><p>Morgan takes Eddie into one of the spare rooms and helps him into his braces and then back into his wheelchair. She crouches down in front of him and looks him in the eye.</p><p>She’s wearing a long, baby blue gown. Her hair is half-up with curls framing her face. Eddie thinks she looks radiant. He doesn't know where he would be without her right now. Sure, he could have had another physical therapist and probably would have had the same results, but Morgan and Eddie just worked. She understood him in ways very few people did, and Eddie is insanely grateful for her.</p><p>“Are you ready?” Morgan asks him, watching his face. She’s in therapist mode right now, analyzing his non-verbal expressions.</p><p>“I’m ready,” Eddie confirms. “Do you think I’m ready?”</p><p>Morgan nods before standing back up and straightening out her dress. “I do,” she says. “Our last practice run with Big Rich was good, and our last practice with just you and me was even better. I think you’ve got it.”</p><p>Eddie grips her hand and Morgan smiles down at him. “I am so happy for you, you know,” she says softly. “You deserve so much happiness, Eddie. And you mean so much to me. I know you’re my patient, but. You’re my friend.” She smiles at him before nudging him. “My old friend. Grandpa friend.”</p><p>“Oh, I forgot you’re allergic to sincerity,” Eddie says with a huff. “No wonder you get along so well with Richie.”</p><p>Morgan laughs, and Eddie squeezes her hand again.</p><p>“Thank you for everything,” Eddie tells her. “I mean it. You have been a rock to me the past few years.”</p><p>“It’s my job,” Morgan replies, her eyes watering a little.</p><p>“No,” Eddie shakes his head. “It’s you.”</p><p>Morgan hugs him again, and Eddie pulls his decorative handkerchief out of his pocket to dab at her eyes as she sniffs.  </p><p>“Now pull yourself together and let’s fucking do this,” Eddie says with a smile. “I want to dance with my husband.”</p><p>“Yessir!” She says with a grin as she pushes him back outside.</p><p>Richie is standing in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by a small group of people. He has a drink in his hand, and he laughs at something with a full, loud laugh. Eddie watches him with a smile. That’s his husband. He looks so happy.</p><p>Eddie catches a glimpse of Richie’s ring on his finger as he waves his left hand around to express himself, and Eddie feels his heart swell in chest.</p><p>“That’s your man,” Morgan says as she pushes him out onto the dance floor.</p><p>“He’s so fucking hot,” Eddie says with a sigh, craning his head to get a look at Richie’s backside as they get closer to him.</p><p>Morgan laughs and locks the brakes of his wheelchair. She gives his shoulder a squeeze before going up to Richie and gently touching his arm to get his attention. Richie turns and looks at her before looking at Eddie and smiling.</p><p>Richie comes up to Eddie and crouches down in front of him. He pats one of Eddie’s leg braces with a grin. “Ready to dance with me?”</p><p>“Fuck yes,” Eddie says with a grin. “It’s time.”</p><p>Morgan kicks her heels off and slides them underneath one of the tables before trotting back to them. “Sorry,” she says with a shrug. “I’m useless in heels.”</p><p>“So, as long as you feel okay once up, I’ll back away to the periphery,” Morgan tells him. “I’ll leave your chair in case you need to sit quickly. Just like we practiced.”</p><p>“Just like we practiced,” Eddie says as he takes a deep breath.</p><p>Richie comes to stand in front of him again, smiling down at Eddie as he holds a hand out to him. The band starts to play an introduction to the song, and Richie leans forward to smile at him. “May I have this dance?”</p><p>Eddie takes his hand, and Richie’s hand slides up to grip his elbow. Eddie’s free hand goes to his arm rest for leverage, and Morgan stands by his side and grips his waist.</p><p>“Ready?” She whispers, and both Richie and Eddie nod. “Go.”</p><p>And Eddie is up, pushing off of the arm rest as Richie and Morgan help him stand. Morgan gives him a quick assist with her leg to get his braces locked, and then they’re holding him steady as he gets his bearings.</p><p>They gave the song a longer introduction, and once Eddie is standing, Morgan gives the band a thumbs up. She gives Eddie a kiss on the cheek before walking to edge of the circle that’s formed around them.</p><p>
  <em>[For optimal experience, I recommend you <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkrTVpa4Uxg">start playing the song</a> here :) ]</em>
</p><p>Eddie takes a deep breath and looks at Richie as the music begins to play. He’s clinging to him with both hands, and he can feel everyone staring at them. He feels a little panicky, feeling pre-embarrassment for what would happen if he falls or has to end early. Everybody is looking at him and watching him stand and dance with his husband. There’s no going back now. Eddie feels himself tensing up, his breathing getting a little choppier. He looks at Richie with wide eyes.</p><p>“Hey,” Richie says quietly. “Look at me, baby.”</p><p>Eddie looks at Richie, and he forgets about all the guests watching them. He forgets about the stress of standing; he forgets how his legs are shaking a little and how he is literally clinging to Richie for support. He forgets everything except for how Richie, his husband, is smiling at him like he hung the moon.</p><p>“It’s just you and me right now,” Richie whispers into his ear as he starts to sway with the music. “Ignore everybody else. Pretend we’re at home. Dancing in the kitchen or something. Just you and me, Eds. Us against the world.”</p><p>Eddie lets out a deep breath, and he didn’t realize he had been holding his breath since he started standing. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Richie’s cheek, feeling the music start to swell as they begin to move. “You and me,” Eddie whispers.</p><p>Richie’s arms wrap tighter around him, and they start to dance the choreographed dance they’ve been practicing for months now. It isn’t much, just a series of small steps in each direction, but it’s enough.</p><p>Eddie breathes Richie in as they move, still clinging to him, but he wonders if he would be clinging to him anyway, clinging to him out of love and a life together that they finally get to share.</p><p>“I am so proud of you, baby,” Richie whispers, a few tears sparkling in his eyes. “Look at you, Eds.”</p><p>Eddie smiles and tries to bring Richie even closer. It’s easier to forget about how shaky he feels when Richie is holding him, when Richie is looking at him and smiling at him and loving him. Right now, there is nothing in Bill’s backyard or the world except for Eddie and Richie.</p><p>“<em>You make my heart feel like it’s summer,”</em> Eddie sings into Richie’s ear, sniffing a little and clearing his throat. Richie looks at him and noses at his cheek, and Eddie knows he wishes he had a free hand to wipe the tear away from Eddie’s cheek.</p><p>Eddie slips a little, and Richie smoothly catches him, all but cradling him to his chest. They slow down, turning the steps into just a sway so that Eddie doesn’t lose his balance. Richie holds him close, and Eddie looks up at him before leaning in for a kiss as the song nears the end.</p><p>“I love you,” Eddie whispers against his lips as the final notes play. “So fucking much.”</p><p>“I love you, too,” Richie says, squeezing him one more time. “I’m so glad you’re the one.”</p><p>Eddie can’t stop looking at Richie. His heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest with love and happiness. He is married to Richie. Richie is his <em>husband</em> and they were able to dance at their wedding.</p><p>Eddie barely notices when Morgan steps up next to them, dragging Eddie’s wheelchair closer and wrapping an arm around his waist. “Ready to go down?” She mumbles to them, and both Richie and Eddie nod. Eddie looks at Morgan and sees the smile on her face, the tears shining in her eyes and streaking down her cheeks as she looks at Eddie with such pride and joy.</p><p>Eddie is lowered into his chair and handed a glass of water. Richie crouches in front of him, his hands on Eddie’s knees as he watches him.</p><p>“You did it,” Richie whispers with a smile. “You fucking did it, Eds.”</p><p>Eddie finishes his water and hands it back to Morgan, who squeezes his shoulder before walking off.  He glances over Richie’s shoulder to see Bev in Ben’s lap, wiping her eyes as Ben pretends to pick something out of his eye. Stan and Patty are leaning into each other, and Bill and Mike give him a thumbs up.</p><p>“We did it,” Eddie corrects him, bringing his hand up to Richie’s cheek. “That was our dance, Rich. Not mine. Ours.”</p><p>Richie smiles and lets out a choked-up laugh. Eddie is about to say something else when Bill clinks his glass, and the rest of the guests join him.</p><p>“Guess the people want us to kiss,” Richie says quietly with a laugh.</p><p>“Like I wasn’t going to kiss you anyway,” Eddie replies, grabbing the lapels of Richie’s jacket and pulling him in. Eddie feels like a spark of fire as Richie kisses him, one of his hands coming to cradle the back of Eddie’s head as he deepens the kiss. He hasn’t felt so alive since he realized he wasn’t dead. He is living and breathing and exploding with so much feeling he didn’t know he could have and didn’t even know existed.</p><p>They pull apart eventually, and Eddie combs his hand through Richie’s hair. “Messed it up,” Eddie says as he tries to flatten it back down.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Richie says, standing back upright. “You like it better messy.”</p><p>The rest of the night is spent with the guests dancing and drinking and taking advantage of all of that Bill’s backyard has to offer. Eddie once again ends up in a circle of butts grinding in his face, and he can’t help it if he gives Richie’s a little squeeze. He really just cannot help it. That’s his husband and he loves both him and his ass.</p><p>As the night quiets down and the guests start to trickle out, Eddie finds himself lounging on one of the lawn chairs facing Bill’s pond. Richie is leaning against the back of it with his legs spread out in front of him, and Eddie rests with his back against Richie’s chest and their hands held over Eddie’s abdomen. They both lost their jackets hours ago, and their ties are loosened and their top buttons are popped. Richie’s hair is really and truly a disarray now, and Eddie feels like every muscle in his body will be sore tomorrow.</p><p>Eddie looks up at the sky, watching the stars as they shine above them. Richie’s thumb is rubbing circles on the back of Eddie’s hand, and he feels Richie press a kiss to the side of his head. It’s a warm and breezy night out, and Eddie can hear the laughter of their friends behind them. He thinks it’s only the eight of them now, the Losers that fill Eddie’s heart.</p><p>He feels zen right now. All the sparks and fires that were inside of him earlier have dimmed. He feels like one of the stars, bright and happy and content in Richie’s arms.</p><p>He knows, in reality, being married won’t really change much. They have essentially been married since they moved into the house together, before they were even dating. But he’ll have a new name as soon as he has it changed. He has the promise of Richie forever, the weight of the wedding band on his finger a constant reminder that he is loved unconditionally by one Richie Tozier. This part of his future, at least, is certain. While the rest of his life may be filled with therapy appointments, drug trials and treatment trials as new research and treatments come out, setbacks and steps forward, he at least will always have Richie to fall back on.</p><p>When he looks forward to the future, Richie is there pushing him along the way. Richie is there scooping him off of the couch, cradling him to his chest and carrying him to bed when he’s falls asleep on the couch and is too tired to transfer back to his chair. Richie is there wiping his tears when he cries in frustration about everything he did lose and isn’t able to do anymore. Richie is there when he goes to the physician for a shoulder injury and they have to decide if he wants shoulder surgery or not. Richie is there when he laughs and yells and mopes, when he talks about his life before Derry and his life when they were kids. Eddie isn’t sure if it’s the love and happiness or the several glasses of champagne he’s had over the night, but he swears he can see the future in the stars. He sees all of it and he wants it all.</p><p>Eddie glances up and sees Richie looking down at him with a small smile.</p><p>“What?” Eddie says quietly.</p><p>“Nothing,” Richie replies, pulling Eddie tighter to his chest. “I just love you so fucking much.”</p><p>“Stop being such a sap,” Eddie replies, but he brings one of Richie’s hands up to his mouth and kisses his palm. “But I love you, too.”</p><p>Tomorrow, they’ll drive a few hours north to Richie’s beach house for their honeymoon. They don’t use it often, and Richie usually just rents it out for the year. It’s secluded and small, and they agreed that all they needed for a honeymoon was each other. No worldly distractions, no paparazzi following Richie around while trying to snap pictures of the newlyweds. They both took two weeks off of work and Bev agreed to watch Dobby while they’re gone. Morgan gave Eddie a list of exercises to do while he’s gone, and she made him pinky promise to do them so he doesn’t return to therapy five steps back. It will be two weeks of just them and a house and a beach, where they can forget about the world and their worries.</p><p>Richie presses a kiss into Eddie’s hair, and Eddie smiles and lets out a small yawn.</p><p>“Are you ready to head home?” Richie mumbles into his hair.</p><p>“In a minute,” Eddie says quietly. “I’m not ready for it to be over yet.”</p><p>Eddie ignores that it is twenty minutes past midnight. The day is technically over, but the feeling is still there. Eddie wants this feeling to last forever.</p><p>“It’s not over, Eds,” Richie says. He sits up a little and turns Eddie in his lap so that he’s sideways, so that Richie can have a better look at him. “This is only the beginning, remember?”</p><p>And he’s right. It’s the beginning of their future, the beginning of their lives as the Toziers, the beginning of so much that Eddie’s heart and head can barely comprehend what else it may be the beginning of.</p><p>Richie tips Eddie’s chin up and looks into his eyes, and Eddie leans forward and kisses him. He wraps an arm around Richie’s back and tugs him closer, humming against Richie’s lips, showing Richie everything that he’s feeling with one kiss.</p><p>They break apart when Richie tries to hold back a yawn, and Eddie laughs and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Come on,” he whispers. “Let’s go home.”</p><p>Richie helps him back into his chair, and they say goodbye to their friends with hugs and a few more tears. Eddie lets himself be enveloped in an eight-person hug. Kisses are peppered all over his face, and he laughs when Bill nuzzles his neck while Richie laughs beside him.</p><p>Eddie glances at Richie over Bev’s head as she hugs him again, and Richie smiles at him. He rubs Bev’s back and presses a kiss to her head before letting her go, smiling as Richie comes up to him and starts pushing him away.</p><p>“Thanks, guys,” Richie says as they walk away. “For everything.”</p><p>Richie is then swarmed with another hug, and Eddie watches as Richie lets himself be loved. Richie, who before he went to Derry, felt like he had nobody and nothing going for him other than the name Trashmouth. Richie, who was so scared about letting them in, who worried about forgetting Eddie and the rest of them for months after Eddie woke back up. Richie, Richie, Richie, who loves Eddie and makes Eddie’s heart feel like it’s summer.</p><p>“Let me take my husband home, damn it,” Eddie says with a huff, instantly deciding that he wants Richie alone as soon as possible. “It is our fucking wedding night. We will not be spending the entire night surrounded by all of you.”</p><p>Bev laughs and gets everyone else to release Richie, waving them off and holding everyone back to avoid any more impromptu hugs.</p><p>Richie wheels Eddie away, humming as they walk towards the car they have waiting for them.</p><p>“How’d you know I was the one?”</p><p>Eddie glances up at Richie when he hears his question. He smiles up at him and shrugs.</p><p>“I don’t really know,” he says. “I just did. Nobody else has ever made me feel like you do.”</p><p>Richie brings them to a stop and leans down to kiss him. Eddie sighs into his mouth and feels a smile breaking out on his face.</p><p>“I knew when you whipped it out and showed me all that you got,” Richie mumbles against his mouth, and Eddie groans and pulls away before shaking his head and smacking at Richie’s torso.</p><p>“Way to ruin the moment, asshole,” Eddie says with a huff, and Richie laughs.</p><p>“I don’t think I ruined it,” Richie says, resuming their trek towards the car.</p><p>“No,” Eddie agrees. “You didn’t. I did say I would take your shitty jokes forever in my vows. I guess I can’t backtrack on that.”</p><p>Richie hums, and Eddie thinks that there is no world where he would want to backtrack. He wants Richie just as he is, and he has him. Forever.</p><p>Richie kisses him again once they’re in the back of the car, and Eddie finally feels at home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The song is The One by Kodaline (acoustic piano and strings cover).</p><p>And that's it for the wedding arc! Thank you for joining me on this little journey of character exploration! Please let me know what you thought, I love to read everyone's thoughts :')</p><p>I do have a few more ideas for things I can do in this little universe, so stay tuned for more in the future!</p><p>As always, you can find me @edskasper on twitter if you want to come snipe me after listening to the song :)</p>
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